Bozo Songs From The Forthcoming Extended Play Release:
"Don't Tread On Me Royalty Free!"



Burros for Bureaus: A Bozo Money Song                           

When we came upon
The Bretton Woods
We had some goods
To sell

But the traders ducked
At my wallet's bucks
Said: "You hoods go straight
To hell!"

(Chorus)

Wasn't all our fault
But they shut their vault
Turned 'round with very deaf ears.

Begged us not to stay
Or come out and play
Til the single malt ran clear.

(Chorus)

"What'd we do for that?"
I said under my hat,
"We've got lots of buyers here!
And our CEO's
A real good show
Works for just a dollar a year!"

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Then a guide named Al
Said, "I am your pal!
Still you need a fair exchange
Your greenbacks ring
But not much bring
'Cross the ritzier Frankfurt range!"

Sad we went back home
Plied our trade for loans
That we knew would save the day.

With tears in our eyes
We set the sails real high
For the Road to Mandalay.

(Chorus) 

Chorus:

Got to trade away
My baby's pay
Get some scratch today
For a Euro this May!

Ooh Ay Le Bus: A Bozo Cognition Song

Sing low Los Bozos!
Caught up in our reachin'
We don't take no smack
Thus we always hit back.

The highs yeah we know
And sausage Buffalo
That mounted the plains
We were on!

(Chorus)

A settler named Bleak
Came 'round once a week
Thru his pains said:
"A Chorus From Lebanon!"

In a cottage now let
Near an ocean we bet
That our fish would be beachin'
At Synanon.

(Chorus)

So we stayed below decks
Of Republican drecks
Who picked up the checks
They could seize.

When our eats ran all night
To our prophet's delight
We pissed beer on the porch
Til it freezed.

(Chorus)

Who we are's in a car
That might have trapped deer
But a million miles clear
Means no payments my dears!

Sure we want to be stars
In our eyes we see jars
Of euros and yen
To cash in again!

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Bozo J*** sings for fun!
Bozo B***'s the bass one!
Bozo D**'s in the sun!
Bozo P***'s often gone!

Bravos! So we think:
"You'll pay for our drinks
Please clean up out back
'Fore you give us the sack."

It's the talent we lack
For getting out quick
Los Bs are just thick
When it pays then we're sick!

(Chorus)

Gives a hand to our Land
Red Alert's Greatest Band
We don't bother to knock
Hell, the doorbell's in hock!

Yet as Idols we shock
'Coz we've been 'round the block
And George Bush will be socked
Once we rock 'round the clock!!!

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Los Bozos Bravos
We don't eat Guavos!
Ain't keen on Davos!
Playin' for Centavos!


The Married State: A Bozo Society Song

"Marry me!", our President said.
"You're single in too big a bed.
Sanctity will tease out dread
And Karl Rove will be less red!"

So I asked him about Laura:
"That traitor's sleeping with O'Neill
The only cells that she will peel
Are sealed in hell until she's dead!"

Maybe focus on the family would
Give me power to be good
Kinder kind
Kitchen wood
Church of Virgin
Belles in Bergen
neighborhood.

Said Adolf beneath his fora:
"You won't have to wear a star!
You can stay just as you are!
If my state signs off on that
You can be my new door mat!
Hop aboard our train, go getter!"

Lo! the shove became a push
Once betrothed to a Bush
Soul is better
Life's so cush!
Never mind
I shall now become a corker
Of a Mexican guest worker.

Downstream Howard Dean Coffee Bean: A Bozo Nominee Song

Primary
Secondary
Perculation.

Stuck on
Trucks shunned
Orange Nation.

Liberals gathered
Gephardt blathered
Kerry forgot to pay.

Lieberman snapped
Moseley-Braun slapped
Kucinich napped
Sharpton betrayed.

Candy Man rang
De Leon Ponce:
"Go eat a Clark bar
John E. sues D Rs!
Hills not the big star
Love 43 that's today!"

Cremora'd my ears up
With anger and bluff stuff
V for victory
No vice gang
O'er nine lice at play!

Brown and muddy
Iraq bloody
Fat cat pigs limo cars
GOP: home's on Mars
Dick Cheyney Bay!

Some caffeine got to Fido
At the Halliburton Lido
In 3-D he beamed up
His desert all steamed up
Pissed maple sap syrup
On he clang
But ain't gay!

Juan Valdez may
Be the chooser
That Deep South loser
Oy! Dios con vaya'd
Segway.

Hooray for Al Gore
We all need him more
Or less
What did Bradley say?

Here the young shoots
Well hung
At recess
Clean Gene sung:
"Viagra life
In old coots
Styles my Ds
Come they may!"

E-mail Neostrat
Wile E arrived at
Shrink 43 to mouse mat!
Acme DeLay!

Rollin' 'round the keen
Students are not mean
They'll vote for once
Now any day!

Maxwell's White House
In a wink, not a grouse
Eli smart
Quite a start!
Turfin out that louse
Why he's bin Laden's spouse!

But Arabica and Java
Might surprise this Octyaber
Throwin' lava reminders:
Tora Bora's unwinders.

Fearful USA blinders
Smells Bush way too fine
With such as 'em no less finer!

Best put grounds in the sack
Our old candidate's back
With the Is Is
And the Mrs. 
Got the knack?

'08 Feel No Sin
Dems Musn't Let Win
Jeb The Kinder!

223: A Bozo Orange Alert Song

London swing on!
Holiday bring on!
Let's settle there
On Tony's Square.
The rent's a bit high
But we'll never see sky!

(Chorus)

Still my Baby ain't sure
She's less than pure
So I said, "Honey don't!
That Marshal won't
Put us in the sea
Until we agree!"

(Chorus)

In the front row
A kid
5 or so
Hyphen-Id
On a list
Mueller kissed
Got to go!

(Chorus)

Up on the screen T-3
Starring Nazi Arnie
Sweet as Californie!
Baby starts to belch
So I asked a Welsh:
"Can you insure me?"

(Chorus)

Buckle up to land
Passports in hand
Dogs jump up to greet
What's left of my seat
So I grab Baby's waist
A Sky Lounger on paste.

(Chorus)

One day later I'm home
Baby's still on the phone
Called her Mom to say hi
Can't imagine why
Myself I'm the Beast
At the FBI Feast.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

I wanna flee on 223
The way to see
A Stealth 2-B
Or maybe we
Could be al-Qaedi!

Battalion of 'Scallions: A Bozo Grocer Song

The knowwhat is there
Out here somewhere
Specific, credible
Terrific, embedable
Discussion!!!!

We're good to go
We ought to know
At base we're white
To show we're right
Top green we're flushin'!!!

Pray bless our best
Pray scare the rest
Well in the money
An option honey
That Jesus bussin'!!!

To beat Dean's band
Orange our land
Tax cut and run
Eat gut eat gun
On planes: cap gains
No cussin'!!!

'04 we score
Not 5-4
What Albert Gore?
He's French
And German
And Russian!!!

Saddam laid bare
His law seems fair
The gas we sold
Made Kurds real cold
Who cares?
Blank check percussion!!!

Deployed agin'
To root out sin
Some volunteers
Chock full o' beers
Will fight 10 years
And die for nothin'!!!

(Chorus)

Battalion of 'scallions
Supreme we are
Not stems in jars
Good pals of downer prions!!!

1747: A Bozo History Song

Tall
Rise
Wand
Eyes
Seek
Pout
Sex
Peak

(Chorus)

Go
Dreams
No
Screams
Face
Rout
Lap
Sneak

(Chorus)

Bars
Drive
In
Cars
Notch
Fifth
Next
Week

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Stoned
Lone
Oh
Are
Then
Speak

Koln
Bore
Your
Zone
France
Sleek

(Chorus)

Half
Dead
Lift
Few
Pore
Tweak

(Chorus)

Young
Hearse
None
1 7 4 7
Freak

7 4 7 1
Nurse
Pants
Done
Leak

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Mustard
Beer
Found
Year
Good
Eat

Palm
Round
Maille
Ground
Bit Her
Sweet

Scots Plaid Ne'er Bad: A Fair Isle Bozo Song

Skye was clear
Nae the beer
Last dram bed
Lead sol read:
"You're damned
You're damned
Re: Peat
Re: Peat!"

(Chorus)

The sea bent North
Froth all went forth
Fish a rout
Jumped about
Caught our share
Forgot to care
Bail us out!

The boats did shy
Robbie Burns' guy:
"Bruce, we lose!
All a ruse
Drydocked
Halfcocked
Schooner my?
Seat o' Spain!"

(Chorus)

Yet no one came,
Save BP GPs
With such strange names
Lambert and Speake
To spread the blame
Like jam on tins
Of scones and bins
Of Tennants dead.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Harbourmen sighed:
"You got 20 years
Cape 30 fear
Run black gun brown
Spill out as rain
Pave our port:
English resort!

You have to sail
On platform's tail
In holy gale
Stornoway
Borne away
Grail today
6 years pay"

Live now, labour
Grace and favour
On water's edge
Turned round
Turned out
T's won, T's none
Must hedge
Or did we?

(Chorus)

Come back the sound
Culloden lea
Spare and free
What to nae then?

Such want obeyed
Not all that fast
Made this life last
We bought a mast.

Chorus:

Te Deum:
Petro Leum
Mauso Leum

Hebrides
Seen 'em
We stayed.

Mars Stars And Bars: A Bozo Futuristic Song

All tight
On my right
Rover dance
Scuttle shuttle
Delink station
Regeneration
JFK died
 I lied.

No end in sight
Well 2004
Need say more?
No terror bores.

 2 of 3
Weren't birds
Or bees
In '63
Bored and sord
Flat on face
Racin' space
Line by line
White and fine.

The King
Hadn't come
Back '68
When the black one
Of words met his fate.

Or the K
RF d'd
Taken out
Wheeze please!
Not my date.

There was a barrel.
There was a zone.
There was empower.
I dropped the phone.

"You'll train to fly
A southern sky
Out of a jam
Called Vietnam"

So drank my thanks
By the tankerd
Rangers loaned
A heart so sweet
Dealt cups of pelf
From dad's friends
To myself
Neat!

On my first week in
I thought, "Iraq's a sin!
Enron is the way
Get me Kenny Boy Lay
For dessert
I'll not badger
No, pies don't pay".

Then came 9/11
Oops! Out in Phoenix
Somewhere written on Kleenex
Take off and make ashes
WTC loops
A really bad day!

3,000 lashes
Made me cloudy
15 of 19 Saudi
Kenny Boy's gone
Mullah Omar sashays.

Don Fossil was found:
"Let's go on with Iraq
But first awe and shock
From Kabul to our borders
Get rowdy!"

Bam bam bam bam
Omar's on the lam
Osama the trauma
Tora Bora deep
But he managed, the creep,
To escape and peep!

Dick Cheyney secreted:
"They're nearly defeated
Pull up! Don't redoubt
Saddam let's rub out
We need some more fuel
Or like pop you will cool"

Faith based me agin
Stopped touchin' the gin
Grabbed my wife with a hug
To replace vats of Krug
So what else could I do
But re 'mag her?
Then she kissed me, I swooned!
That's my signature tune!

After 500 dead
I could remake
"The Right Stuff"
On Lake Mars
For 500 million
More than a billion
Promote marriage
O'er the moon!

Don't you think I am buff?
Well rev up the chatter
American batter
Don't need DMV
Hummer's all they see
Cookin' WMD.

3 million jobs
Gone but not done!
Trying Kenny Boy's mover
Wasn't his name Hoover?

But if we're all mad
Screw cows, don't be sad!
Call on Georgie The Lad
Royalty the new trad:

"Vision thing's back on tap
Get Saddam off the map
Truss him up in gift wrap
Howard Dean's a real sap!

White bread sandwich a snap
Filled with flag-waving crap!
Now come sit on my lap
Liberty, take a nap"

November
Remember?
Fall sky
I lie.

C and E: A Bozo Vitamin Song

Dad's got A
L and Z
H and E
I and M
E and R
S All day
Yes All night
Disease.

(Chorus)

The doctors know
Nothing sure
Say "E and C
helps keep away"
Like C of E
Say "Keep 'em away
From our Archb's
Diocese"

(Chorus)

Bridge:

No cure
No life
Just brains
Now mush
All as such
Falling on his wife.

Lo! If cells please
Grey out the east
The north
The west
The south
The worth
The mouth
The lock and keys.

Dad's no beast
Excel on he can't
Gel or sure
Rave or rant
He don't see
He does pee
All watch
Decrease.

(Chorus)

Hymn: "I'm Him"
A mighty fortress
Climbin' ladder
Fit the battle
Above below
Eternal home
Hallelujah!
Then cease.

Chorus:

We don't want faces
Just tranquil places
To die in wealth
And perfect health.

Genveneration: A Bozo 'fier Song

Los Bozos are simple
But not for pimples
The dimples they have
Are wimps from Mojave.

We could take Cab
All the way to slab
Or maybe Rab's
Ness bits of blues.

We love to sing-a
Endorsements bring-a
Buck and wing-a
Bozos don't dance
Unless it's trance!

Deluxe gust sucks
Remixed for fucks
Could Bozos muck
'Sho nuff for pay?

No, not today.
Whatever now slays
Illiterate ways
Makes Bozos gleam!

Our band lands
Gangway sands
Communicates
Way vast: too late!
Removes stays.

Say what, robot?
Boze are not
Patriots
Acts come due
We sue and sue
Then close with you:
Just Our Dream!

Sleep Awake Fake: A Bozo Mortality Song

Op 1
Valve defective
Surge' elective
Out like a light
Never did fight
Lovely his Mom
Laid out
No snout
Gone, called home.

(Chorus)

Op 2
Keukenhof
Goes he off
Back to town
Cops look round
We run him down
In bar up street
Nursin' beer
Talkin' sweet.

(Chorus)

Op 3
Mess what?
Brain going
So sees the doc
That's a lock
Plaque sowing
Distress not
9-10 best guess.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Pops
Well asleep
Lying deep
Sawin' z's
Easy peas
Breathes
Seethes
Death
Bereft?

Op 4
Talk it through
Crashed a car
Knocked out
Can't talk, can you?
Where am I?
Sore! My legs
Swoled up thighs
Ostrich eggs.

(Chorus)

Op 5
Lively slip
Goes the hip
Therapist
Cares for this
Lesser bulk
Nab walker
No talker
Crusty sulk.
(Chorus)

Op 6
Then nix
Separation
Fornication
Old relations
Perorations
Anticipation
Guilty nation
Iteration.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Cannibal
That's brain de mal
Here a sop
Of love to Pop
Ain't gettin' up
I'm next for sup.

Talent Less Bum: A Bozo Mass Appeal Song


Whether we sing
Bozos can't sling
Our fame to come
With falling bums.

(Chorus)

Into the studio
Photos non-nudio
Try out nose rings
But they don't swing.

(Chorus)

Yeagh! Turn the page
Middle aged rage
American dream
High self esteem.

(Chorus)

The agent phoned
He sold our drone
To no-fly zone
So we can't moan.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

The chance to open
Britney's mopin'
Musn't turn down
Big breaks to drown

In cash
In bonds
In leggy blondes
Our weight in hash.

Los Bozos presented
Caftans well tented
Mixed sales descented
Fell unresented.

(Chorus)

Came off the charts
But still had smarts
Sought jobs apart
Enthralled Wal-Mart.

(Chorus)

Now old we're new
On Bozo 2:
Don't tread on me
Royalty free!

Chorus:

They're on our street
We may sound sweet
When Bozos wake
No noise is fake!

Living At Home (And We Like It): A Post Modern Tuckered Out Bozo Song

According to the Gallup polls
We can't afford those Tootsie Rolls
That a certain gentleman and you
Gave us to eat from upwards of two.

You're rich and handsome and parents
You've everything your kids could want
But we've learned the lesson and anyhow
No child can make a living now.

'Coz we're pickeatin' gals
Free as the breeze
We go where we like
And do what we please
Thrown out of apartments
We ask for your keys
We're living at home and we like it.

If we want to make love
We stay up, we make love
You come home when we're miked too
And when you walk in
You're just growling at we:
"What the hell you doin'?"
We're living at home and we like it.

We're the Visa bred
No limit Mamas
And there's no Papa
Who isn't uncool.
You come home late
To latch we
And match we
And watch we
Make whoopee whenever we're in the mood.

While having some fun
We'd just rather not
Have to pay for the drinks when we're playin' the slots.
So it costs you a 20 or a 50
So what!
We're livin' at home and we like it.

My olds buy my dresses
Their rules only stink
When we make the messes
And down all our drinks
They're darling, they yell
"What's that smell, it just stinks!"
They buy it, we wear it and we like it!

If we go out with the guys with the nice molded ass
Will they maybe say yes
When we make a pass?
Car belongs to our Pop
He paid for the gas.
Take 'em right in the car, Dad won't like it!

When we're well 'round the bend after dinner
When it's late we can't finish the wine
Please in the morning just make 'em
The eggs and the bacon
That parenting business is thine.

As you already know
We've bounced three more checks
Can't really grow up
On that fourth Ms. X
We know your co-sign
Does extend to collect.
We're living at home and we like it!

Hide DMAway: A Bozo Don't Get It Song

Annie Leith
Rotted her teeth
Settled last fall
When served by Bainwol

"My ad fee recovers
Green Day's latest cover
Of Old Bobby Fuller
Goes down like a cruller!

On his last ride:
Law said suicide.
Gas all over the car
A real flaming star!

Now Pepsi and I
Can serve Apple's pie
Once the Beatles review
Their decision to sue"

The Ember For November: A Bozo Campaign Song

Herman Munster that funster
A scary guy
Who winked his eye
One comical creation.
But we want heroes
Not just more zeroes
In deficit relations.

Today we must pitch
To fix the glitch
A man from Texas gave us
He only hurried
To get troops buried
In some Iraqi ditch.

Who'll come to save us?

There's one such man
Out of Vietnam
With valor, guts and brains
Knows how to shrink
That rich man's tease
That cowardly breeze
Now stinkin' up our nation.

Look here, John Kerry
We ain't too merry
We're worried by terror
Our margin of error
Much less than ever before.
If Georgie comes back
With all of his hacks
There's only destruction galore.

So don't give up ground
Or like Dean be a clown
Be clear on the sitch:
Tax cuts for the rich
From that son of a bitch
Kill freedom with greedom
Our kids can't pay down!

Next November we may
Get relief right away
Make Rummy a mummy
Wax Bush like a dummy
They'll look very scrummy
On one-termer's pay.

Then start up the ferry
We just might with Kerry
Steer clear to elation
The American Way!!!

But before we gloat
We have to vote
Or else be gored
By supreme courts
Who gladly abort
The people's final word.

When Does Cultural Competency Become Racial Profiling?: A Bozo Prof Song

My baby drives too fast
My sweetheart has a past
My English is not
The language of rot
My land multicolored
Secure! Sure, don't stay!
Find peace find war
Anyhow, anyway.

Running up the miles
The back seat all smiles
Rurururururururur
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Here come the cops
They got a file
That says my style
Is for the chop!

Officer one black as coal
Not a Haitian toilet roll

Officer two looks Jew
Settlin in Zion's pew.

Officer three spic and span
Comet's cleaner foe.

Officer four girlie man
A limp subpoena.

Officer five damn fine woman
You know they all want it.

Officer six a bit too drab
Ahab roust the cab.

Officer seven
Pray for heaven.

Officer eight
Deport, 'mate.

Officer nine to eleven
Micks all flaunt it.

What do words mean?
The prof tried today
To make things ok.
But it went beyond
My ken and his magic wand.

Speckled band
Of AIDS
Wades below
the Man
the Nigger
the Woman
the Jew
the Mick
the Arab
the Latina
the Queen
the Spic
the Span.

What's the topic?
Trump biopic?
Another slick
Forgetting on show.
White shadows crow:
"Don't touch!
Well not much!
Hell themsuch!"

More than a hand
Needed to seed
A tour
A cock
A tail
A knock.
A rumor
A lock
A bail
Assail.

What's the facts?
Patriot Act
3 trillion
or 4 less or more
The lore of ill
The poison pill
Who''ll pay the bill?
Africa keep still!

Blank check
Upon my maids
Gents and ladies
My family
Our world
No homily
Boyed or girled
Bush Country
Totalled wreck.

"And the Winner is..." A Bozo Counterintelligence Song


Is Pachachi based in Karachi?
No, he's our guy
Not some ally
Like old Pervez
Whose science guy
Sold mushroom skies.

When is the run-up?

Our General Kimmitt
Of which he handles
Says far more candles
In hands of vandals
Gum up and crumble
Adnan's elections:

"But that's just flem
From Saddam's men
Our handpicked caucus
Will be less raucus
Unless of course
While on high horse
The Ayatollah
Decides to roll-a
My C-in-C
GWB
With flat rejections."

Mark won't admit
To any swoon
By end of June
From o'er the moon
Comes UN boon.
But as top guy
He may just sigh:

"Home this July
I'm out! Goodbye!
Let's up and stumble!"

Super Tidy Like A Rose: A Bozo 300 Song

What's that contraction?
Ho' Ho' Ho'
Mo' Mo' Mo'
I work for Budweiser
As a stock analyzer
Best non-culture
Litein' them vultures!

Right, we still ID
And paint all the girls
'Coz boys watch the whirl
Of fingers, of prints
Lactating action
Of misogyny's glints
Where's her panties?

(Chorus)

Our country stands
For whatever bands
Of junk can be told
Resold blight
Alongside
My hide's
Copyright.

Alamo Two:
Van Helsing's Shmo
Golem Three: No Hanks!
The Ladykillers
That's our thanks
Janet Jackson's fillers
Aren't Guinness
She's slightly less
Than jigaboob.
She can't guess!

(Chorus)

For an injustice place
Of Ashcroft disgrace
By a dead man's face
Wee small minded pigs
Dancing a jig
Ha' penny rubes
For the rich, for figs
Darwin ain't got a chair.

Summer Bush league
C'est President fatigue
By naysayers
Dance card's overdue
Fear right on cue
Then marries a stew
Our treasury's scanty.

Bridge:

Kerry's latest soup
Lobbied local loop
Here's nonscoop
Yale nincompoops
Win both parties
Teach every stoop.
Real smarties.
Answered prayers.

Just take take
Remake remake
There's nobody's sake
Worth a pen
Now or then
US A mistake
Crap for pap
Small for tall
Lap for sap
Screwed renewed
Terror's despairer
Greed one, greed all.

(Chorus)

I've got the croup.
Here half the vote
All take a pass
At most morass
Ain't Britney's
Ain't Whitney's
Must be shitty
Bits of titty
Leaders by quarter note
Who come 'long by rote
'Coz freedom's been smote.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

"I can't see the point
Or smoke a joint
Goin' to the West
Will not invest
My time
Or be sublime
So I spend a dime
On hallowed grime"

Afraid To Show The Shadow Knows: A Bozo Lexus Nexus Song

Let's just say
That you were gay.

You couldn't pay
Alimony, no no
In Virginny, no no
Or 30 other states today.

Nor could you found
A cult on grounds
Of freedom to worship
Or freedom of whoreship
Or try and hatch
Polygamous catch
With tabernacle rounds.

You wouldn't be
Insurable
Shot on sight
Endurable
To bigots
Of many lands
Closeted or dandified
Might not your children flee?

You might decide
To take a bride
Or groom
Say yes to whom?
Our laws would say
You're doomed
To take the stand
Or give up liberty.

Equal protection
Won't survive
Rejection
From those who thought:
"We surely bought
That nigger's caught
Let's string 'im up
Alive
On that old tree!!!"

You should be fair
Take your despair
To judges lair
Or pay some fees
To those who care
Much less for refugees.

Don't frighten the horses
Or lighten divorces
Fat chance to wed
When you can dread
The ones who ban
The birds and bees.

Go forth and multiply
The rights for which you die
I'm only just a fan
Of lesbians
Of gays
Of equal laws
Of freedom claws
Of gender
Of tranquility.

Of Games
Olympian and Greek
Americans will cheer and shriek
Yet fear to turn the other cheek.
Their same old shame
Beats out the flame
With crosses on the lawn
The truth goes on and on:
To smash the weak weekly!

What's better than a lie?
Why fascist alibis
Encoded forms of hate
Just ricin to be bait
So please turn down that date
With White House VIPs!

Let's re-ask the Prez:
"Can I marry with a lez?
If I have breasts
Do you request
That I should just not speak?"

Let's re-ask DeLay:
"If Johnnie weds a gay
Does that mean Gitmo Bay
Or Auschwitz holiday?
Or should he just not speak?"

Let's re-ask Bill Frist:
"On homos what's your twist?
Do you not harm
Those who alarm
Post oaths and Bibles kissed?"

So let's re-ask our lot:
"Who will marry?
Who will not?
When under the law
Posit an equal paw?"

For those who write
This isn't hell
Do ask
Do tell
Do try to sell
One ring around
A hand, a country free.

Here Judge Come: A Bozo Practice Song

Now here's the gist
Of Senator Frist
A famous cry one morning:
"That's Ricin! Ricin! Ricin!"

In politics
His party tricks
Are not at all surprisin':

"If not our batch
Of judges snatch!"

Over to Hatch:

"Doc does his own suborning
Of memo theft
From Senators left
Without Miranda warning."

The Last Leaky Ape: A Bozo Archaeology Song

They call me Don Fossil
My ego's colossal
To deal like a chimp
I regard with contempt.

When I get it wrong
I just say:
"But we're stronger
Than you. "

"Don't give us a draw
I want shock and awe
To unearth all those bombs
Then we're through".

Unheard in my pew
Old Europe's unkempt
They want UN mays
Not my US preempts.

WMD fraying cord
 Ripped on my sword
Took in hardly a word
Undisturbed? Well, not gored!

Still more tenets I dread
As I bury the dead
Our great nation relies
Just accepts I've no spies
In Iraq or Iran
North Korea: come on!
In Karachi my tent's slightly red.

But that isn't the point
I'm the man to anoint.
What I feel in my brain
Had just better remain
In a heart snicker sneed
By my late OSP.

What else would you do?
It's the land of a few
Far off right, brave and true
Simply must reelect 'em
Don't need great experts
I'm my own, it just works!

Nuts! I misplaced the fission
Here's another commission
Got to glower about
Or my power goes out
You can just hear me shout:
"Give that Kofi but
Colinanectom".

Well, there's always next March
When my eyebrows won't arch
'Coz GWB lost November
Then I'm Oduvai guy
"Metamucil", I sigh,
"To forget what I never remember!"

Boca Raton Baton: A Bozo Mesang Song

Marchin' four a row
Yachts are on the go
We here do agree
Flexibility
Unanimity.

No volatility.
No incivility.
World economy
Wholesome market free
'Round 'bout 120.

(Chorus)

How many G's in 7?
Let's bet number 11.
Where's tovarich 8?
Eatin' Chechens, 'mate!

But here's Karzai
Such a sharp-dressed guy
His domain is Kabul
Or the parts he can fool.

(Chorus)

Hey Ya!
This resort is repast
For old money outcasts
Saddam ain't too vast!
Couldn't take us we 7
To allahgorical heaven!


Bridge:

Yen for dollars
Lapsing desires
Canadian
Francovillian
Deutscher pals agin
Parmalat bonfires
Poundin' down
Euro collars.

(Chorus)

With 3 trillion blown
Threat financial grown
Credit surely strapped
'long the oily gap.
Poisoned dinars for dinner!
Market timing's a winner.

(Chorus)

Head for home with a bang!
Money song: "Sturm und Drang".
Our old world will be sunny
Gettin' by without money
Time to lay a put on
Down with Boca Raton!

(Chorus)

Chorus:

At the Boca Raton
Where the sheets are satin
Greenspan E Street Latin:
"Pluribus Au Gratin"

The West Coast Dab: A Bozo Shellfish Song

Right hand's a
Dungeness Crab
Sorta flat
Kinda splat
Fingers drop
By automat
Graba thick
Sea slab.

(Chorus)

Drag lines do stretch
A seventh or bletch
Lustin' a trick
In sickly event
Friends can't decant
Decent glass downs
Partner renowns
When cry is "Fetch!"

(Chorus)

Sauced the tamale
Go on! Can't fall we
Grow swims in salt
Biologic fault
Chesapeake blues
Jimmies no use.

(Chorus)

Tryin' shell soft
Bad brain's aloft
Often between
Whitish breads
Mayo sheened
Please excuse.

Bridge:

Bishop let's clean!
Crackin' the joint
Toastin' points
Mustard 'stesher
Cayenne refresher.

Pearl dell le war
Norm garnishin'
Or a stock share
Gates of the West
Spun off the rest
What sort o' beast
Fathoms the least?
Graspin' some feast.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Aah!!! Rah!!!!
Bozo's lost cause
Rollin' rock jaws
Fillin' king claws
Will not unbind.

The Madman's Seventh Sunset: A Bozo Billandcoup Song

I am your war president
Not some gorey precedent
Please encore this resident
Oval office resonant.

Here's the roar of 43
Jobless sore round 2 point 3
Millions pour out 2 to 3
Trillions gorged on larceny
I need your vote, don't blame me!

With Osama left behind
I put Saddam next in line
We'll rebuild on Bechtel rind
Still Pervez is more my kind
He sells war and never minds
Ev'ry nuke his doc designs.

Cheery young ones sacrifice
500 gone ain't no vice
Death's not on this ballot card
Reserved my place in the Guard. 
Please don't overlook that nice
Refund WMD.

All my friends are CEOs
Takin' swipes at Sammy's dough.
Sure they hire a bit too slow
More tax cuts'll make 'em grow
Those debentures on Skid Row.

Seeing as far as I do
You should all be warring too
There's so many more of you
On the dole about to cave
Getting closer to the grave
Plus you all forgot to save!!!

Select GWB
Terror's still at liberty
On his watch the debts brought more
Good buys at Tiffany stores
Wants to know how he can score!!!

A Man Amass Alas Bypass, A Bozo One And Gone Song

I want no drama
In this diorama
Here's some charts that say
I received Guard pay
Down in Alabama
Helpin' Senate sway.

By the way should we
Find some WMD
Then I want 'em banned
Like gay marriage plans.

Meanwhile that Greenspan
Sees good news at hand
Tho' misplaced his wand
Back in 2003.

Got this Tenet fob
From the Cheyney mob
No more PDBs
Discharge PCBs!
 
Oh, forgot to mention
My tax cut convention
Such a fearsome craze
New Ground Zero days
How to coin a phrase?
"Best fiddler since Nero!"

For democracy
You will vote for me
Or al- Qaeda lobs
As you hunt for jobs.
I shall flee this jam
Just like Vietnam.

Sunfish: A Bozo Paneed Song

Hittin' the ice
In a trice
When I jigged
You were no pig
Fish we'll catch
And slice.

(Chorus)

You're a great match
Met you in the ether
My folks say neither
Just a ratchet
Tension's nice.

(Chorus)

Course everything
They bite of course
What could be worse?
Bad nightie.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

I'm on the pond
You're my kind
Of blond
I can wish
That sunfish run
This fall.
Give me a call!

On a plate
Measure first-rate
Maybe I care
To be bare.

(Chorus)

There's only sun
When you're the one
Now let me stare
No re-bait.

(Chorus)

A Mass
In Frisco
Will disco
Second-rate.

(Chorus)

But I don't mind.
You're my kind
Baby, sho 'nuff?
Stuff 'em, it's fate!

Chorus:

Wow! You bought it!
Straight to naughty
There's no haughty
Now you've caught it.

Do Valet Do Fiche La: A Bozo CBI Song

Port au Prince
C'est past does wince
Future convinced
Holes filled by a pinch
For 50 cents a cinch
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

Gonaives
C'est hard to believe
But not if you live
You learn to forgive
To stay unsieved
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

Cap Haitien
C'est ours again
So you ride a mule
Up denuded hill
To find out the rules
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

At Montana
C'est bananas
First drink gratis
BBQ c'est what is?
Bad boat's afloat
In Haiti.

Bridge:

Oh Julia!
Ooh est Katie?
You both went to Haiti
Unruly yeah!
What now?
Bereft, less matey.

Aristide
C'est rapide
Left steed gored
Pour liberation
Traded gourdes
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

Sisal plantation.
C'est come again?
Or bet on Rien
A vas plus
Napoleon too
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

St Marc
C'est votre sante
Marked dead chicken
Oui, c'est voodoo
Took a lickin'
In Haiti.

(Chorus)

Baseballs done go
Anywhere c'est
Voltaires find
They are fine grind
Egalite kind
In Haiti.

Chorus:

Police dollars 2-4 mil
Palais Leg c'est 1/4 that bill
Comme ca, don't come!!!
Miami no way thrill
Enfin votre fils c'est ill
In Haiti.

Madge Manicure: A Bozo Contractual Elegy Song

Why is green so pure?
You're soaking in it!
Oily hands go 'round
Many lands
Up and down
Rings the neck
What the heck
Sammy's back in play!

Let's get it clear you!
Sharia won't cue
Just put it in
You'll be a sin
Against democracy.

See hear Bremer Wafer
Can't you be safer?
We fear your election
Will lead to rejection
Of our recovery.

Them dishpan hands
Aren't in our deal
How many meals
For GIs served
Ordered proxy
At the Roxy
Halliburton?

We now our certain:
For cleaner dishes
Whirl dervishes
Don't wait for foil
Truck Turkish oil
But those knishes
May well recoil.   

Go on and fix
Just do not nix
On the go
From GAO
Deepen the six
We wanna know!
PSA show.

Of course
Sole source
So much remorse
GAAP enforce
Palmolive jury
Risin' mercury
Sammy fury.

Criticism is not
Witticism is not
Failure
Jail ya
Clean up duz
Cheyney buzz:
Less sure 'coz
Madge has a badge.

Deem We Brahimi? A Bozo Elections Song

Evil Empire
Iran.
Iraq.
Korea North.
Who to succeed?
Fired: a couple in need.

Baby and I running
We've started gunning
Our big chance to rule
We're Yale old school
We don't scream
We have a dream
Certainly peace
Or war don't cease.

Soldiers went forth
To slay some dragon
Put down our flag in
Baghdad the Bad.
But we're much too rad
For al-Qaeda stripe
Baby only gripes!

No, babe, be not sad
Listen to this lad
Sure Kofi's mad:
"Why not 6/30?
You're two shirty
Tricks too dirty
For my net worth".

I'm an evil
Poll weevil
Swing voter
Trade one noter
Two of three
Got WMD
But that's not where
Troops pay my share.

Then next campaign
All unified
Disqualified
No ill will
Just Grand Council
Of Tehran Disco.

"Oh well", Baby says,
"It's not our fez
Let's find a lez
And head for Frisco."

Baby and I have
Very last laugh
Campaign starvin'
Sex Tet carvin'
On a Kim Il liner
Made in China.

The Thirst For Hearst: A Bozo Circulation Song

Page Miss Glory.
Here's my story:

I was a farrier
Landed on a carrier
No barrier to entry
Beaucoup sentries
That's your age.

The horse I did buck
But that ain't what sucks
Nah, it's the number
Good enough for slumber
So hey! Encumber me
With Paige, a Secretary:

"NEA's terrorist"
Will o' the wisp
Fillin' guvs Waziri
Shouldn't we fear thee?
Pervezzin' kind
A child left
Workin' right
Out o' sight.

See my exorcist
Had one dram too much
Butch in Alabam
String up Arnold?
Runnin' golden
Nazi foldin'
Bold failure
I'll mail ya
6 million cold.

Troubled
Doubled
Down
On clowns
Seed sown
One term goin'
Troops shown
50 cinch
Port-au-Prince.

"Right, get out!
Hear my shout
You're a lout!
'caine in snout!"

Like a Prez
Stumblin' says:

"What with the war
The emergency
Corporate scandals
Recession
Brought to you by me
Compression:
5.6 sized sandals
So thin, nowhere's not far!"

My Dead Fed: A Bozo Fountainhead Song

I listen to 78s
That's my fate
Take Martha's fifth
But don't mate with
Ayn Rand's greased pig
Alan Greenspan.

His brand's in trouble:
An asset bubble.
The stubble's showing
The deficit's growing
The rich are crying
For his sort of lying.

Like Gary Cooper
Real jobs gone stupor
Proppin' up the drill
Al no longer fills
He just really zeals
Patricia Neal.

Doin' Wall Street jigs
Are up, fried for sup
Say howdy pard
Amendment's shard
National Guard?
White House weseals.

Al's rhythm method
Senior death rod
Like a Vader
Gutless wader
Light saber's limp
Deflation's chimp.

Life human sorted
You'll be aborted
No wait, fortify
Eat carbohy!

On line down slope
We can but hope
Spanner who galls
Funeral pall
For servin' this fall.

Send 'Em In 2/3 States: A Bozo Givin' Up Song

There's this institution
Called the Constitution
I shall amend
If my friends
Aren't one and all
Different gendered.

(Chorus)

We're all fat rendered
Under my hat
Endless Ring
Of Wagner sings!!!
Set you free
With truths from me.

(Chorus)

Recreate my term
Don't abort that sperm
George can't be permed
By man he squirms
By woman one term. 
Take him to the Passion.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

View Mel, helluvozzy
'Coz he suits fashion
Of gormless nation
No elation
Bloody mashin'.

Whatever sells
Lethal movies' Gibson
Girls need more pearls.
So violent to infidels
Go give up lent
Citadels pay rent
Big screen splash
Swingin' for cash!!!

(Chorus)

Finally Bishops' lash:
"We paid out a billion
For 4 percent
Ablutions
Dogoodnik works then
Trillions burnt solution
Thou really big money's
Funny a la Dirksen!"

Chorus:

One woman
One man
Fall comin'
For one fan.

We Be Gorged: A Bozo Expediency Song

"That's relief!
Exiled that thief
Unless the sheaf
Of cotton returns
Then tires'll burn
Priests we'll spurn
Reserves don't churn
They just turn
Away in black
Headin' for Iraq".

(Chorus)

Rama lama Alabama
Ol' darkies tradin'
O'er the border
Some pillbox hoarder
Of Squibb
Might we fib?
Of Pfizer
Analyze her?
Of Merck
Jerk Canadian?
(Chorus)

Bridge:

Get 'dat Powell
Throw in the towel
Lib's a vowel
An e
A victory
Natural selection
Reelection.


B of Texaco.
Muscle flexin' mobile
Drillin' Mexico
Seems so real
One chance to steal
A waftin' nose
Weekend's close
Naftali chose
Sharon's rose
Commonweal.

(Chorus)

We who die
Despisin' lies
Hate the sighs
The alibis
Can't just carry
Qualifyin'
Civil notes
From John Kerry
Holdin' our nose
Choosin' D vote!!!

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Scalia duck!
When life sucks
Or Cheyney fucks
Your rep's deluxe
To be shot down
A plush Bush clown.

Vestal Vested: A Bozos Mash Song To Be

There ain't no parallel universe
Wherever we go, it's in some such hearse.
That's not to say life couldn't be much worse!
Like genes my doc designs!

There ain't no parallel universe
When Buddha slept around with Moses' nurse
Prophets like Jesus always reimbursed
Suits well, so pay the fines!

Bridge:
Stowed beneath your purse
Is the key to my reverse
Bring it out like wine
Write another verse:
Now I'm universal fine!

There ain't no parallel universe
If there were, we'd all be dressed in furs
'Coz shoulder rpms in wars are blurs
That shed like warning signs!

There ain't no parallel universe
Without you, herless hymns are always cursed,
And ever after will I put you first
Or put where Sun don't shine!

(From GME's parallel indie release : "Maureen McGovern: The Concert For Luddites")

There just can't be a Morning After.
Our right is watching every door
If you believe in Gallup science
You just won't go there anymore!

Oh, can't you see?
No Morning After
When votes are shaky
Try this wheeze
We'll puff up panels semi-flaky
Then do exactly as we please!

Bridge:

It's not too late
To keep on giving
To those who make an awful lot.

It's not too late
It's just a living
So why say sorry when you're not?

There just can't be a Morning After.
No photos from that other war.
We sign the checks and cross tomorrow
Or maybe in December
Now let's not go there anymore!

There just can't be a Morning After
(There just can't be a Morning After)


The Weekly Reader: A Bozo Scholastic Song


At the FDA
We know how to weigh
Telegrams that say:
"Not that pill today!"

Sure, we called in docs
To appease the flock
Jesus, what a shock!
When they ruled: "Unlock!"

So like sheep in flannel
We dismissed our panel
Couldn't go so far
As to rate it R!

Now if Jane feels sick
After fun with Dick
We'll be sure to find
One child left behind!

Please us, Soccer Mummy,
Just ignore Jane's tummy
We've been told by Dick:
Blame it all on Rummy!

Striking A Hot Iron: A Bozo Anticipation Song

(intercepted communication from the RNC Pre-Emptive Poetry Command Bunker)

We told you to duck
When our polls said "We suck!"
What we didn't abridge
We passed on to Tom Ridge.

Now you'd better be wary
Or we'll be twice as scary
If you ask how we know
We'll just export John Snow.

Secret sources ain't scummy
Ours report straight to Rummy
Best of course not to think
Or the campaign will sink!

Disagree? Get aloft!
Bear an arm for Ashcroft
If your tasers don't stun
Why not check-in a gun?

One more terror avowal
From Our Boy Colin Powell:
"They'll destroy this ol' nation!
You'll be off the plantation!"

Sure, our links may seem grainy
But not so to Dick Cheyney!
Should you sew and not reap
Then you're gay! "Six 'em deep!"

"Yep, the terror's all 'round!"
Warned the Prez, "You'll be bound
By my courage to fear
No more tax cuts next year!"

A Generic Too Far: A Bozo AIDS Song

"I'm Randall Tobias
In Bangkok without bias
To stop this here fight
I've become Lilly white!"

"Kofi, you're no wiser
Than the docs down at Pfizer
But my stock analyzer
Has become such a miser!"

So I said to the dying:
"You've had sex!
You're so trying!
Best to leave you out frying
On a grill of bounced checks
Like some stem cell relying
On a failure of spying!"

A Verse To The Threat: A Bozo Priority Song

This here terror's out of whack
Taliban? A bunch of hacks!
al-Qaeda? They'll get the sack!
Anthrax guy? We'll be right back!
So what to do about Iraq?

Oh, we tried to make him cry
With some deals he couldn't foil
Like a zone we called no fly
Or a bit of food for oil.

You know he sought to buy.
We'd never tell a lie!
But he never did acquire
Thus we couldn't hold our fire!

Now what did the neighbor say?
When we swore, "It's time to pay"
Well, he mostly slunk away
To rebuild by Tehran Bay.
His hot rods are underway?
Well, he'll die another day!

Hence we sent for a quick mix
Of a dip we'd tried to fix
Out there came a Swede meatball
Who found nothing much at all.
When some tried to nix our pix
We said, "Sorry! That's our call!"

Insecure Americans
Who are frightened, who are sore
Qualify our ifs and whens?
Why they'd never vote for war!

Beating evil's like a cream
Rising up, we lick it down
Tears and flowers must abound
Once they learn how not to scream.

You see that's how we think
When our reason's less than grand
And our morals never shrink
When they do it's called Sudan.

Teaser For The Freezer: A Bozo Burial Song

Far better to be neat than gaudy
Unless you're workin' down in Saudi
Then brace yourself: Now, what the heck?
To take a blow around the neck.

Cue up the anchor in Atlanta
With Dr. Gupta and Mylanta
A Howlin' Wolf or Paula Zahn
Will break in fast ('fore ratings gone):

"There's a head in a freezer
And it's dead: what is our teaser?
We don't want our kids to see
Why we care for this body
That's the talk of rank appeasers!"

"To discuss as if death's new
We've got all the DC crew
To explain this sad revue
Why we know it must be true!"

Me, I live between the ears
I don't bow on bended knee
I know what I long to hear
From what's left of my country:

"Islam says that is taboo
Here at home do we construe
That they kill just like we do?".

If a head is still alive
But cannot count up to five
And black as coal, what simple fun!
Stick a needle, said and done!
Be unjust, be Fox show biz
Depends again on what is is.

There's no way a head will sell
Or portray the living hell
Of the Johnson family
Your loss is my homily
For our Prez's comity
Of words, the words of blasphemy:

"Do unto others your best to screw,
A dead head's all I leave to you! "

Ain't That LeeTom Grand?: A Bozo Pastiche Song

I'm a keen cowhand
From the Meadowlands
With an ivy wand
And a Co-Chair brand

I'm a Co-Chair Lee!
D of this Inde
Ran a Committee
Put your trust in me!

When we met all 10
We swore: "Not again!"
But to find out why
Meant someone must fry.

Yup! we all stand tall
Up went a stone wall
But we never cry
We just justify.

Nope! we can't fix blame
Or show any shame
Or spill any blood
In our neighborhood.

For that Clinton man:
"Socks is not a plan!"
For that Bushy one:
"Reading can be fun!"

For the FBI:
"Just a few more spies"
For the DCI:
"Just a few less lies"

For the terrorist:
"We should slap your wrist!"
For the victims' kin:
"Sorry you've been skinned!"

Now we recommend:
"Centralize this lot"
Thus we see a slot
In a Cab'net den:

"If there's one in charge
And his writ's real large
He'll use all his sums
To locate some scum!"

From our great and good:
"Boys! You understood!
We won't ever do 
What you say we should!"

Lastly Co-LeeTom:
"That's our 9/11!
Should another come
We'll both be long gone!!!"

The Vase Is In Place: A Bozo Mikado Song

If you want to know who we are
There's this gentleman from Pyongyang
A bit of treason's sleight of hand:
We love him so in our great land!

He deserted long ago
Played at Patton on the screen
Got kimchi from hermits lean
Old Tojo? No, not a fan!

While he strayed from country far
The Great Leader held a knife
Said, "You're just my kind of star!"
And kidnapped for him a wife.

40/20 looked so fast
Plus he had a family
But he couldn't get a pass
To revisit DMZ.

'Natch the dips were on his case
They just cut right to the chase:
"What's he mean to you and me?
Why more votes for Koizumi!"

On a plane they flew away
To a Bali holiday
There retreated, he and shes
Sound and safe from entreaties.

These bygones land at Narita
Where he limped forlorn like Cheetah
All we need is to forgive
You see, forgetting's how we live:

We don't remember Rising
We don't remember Sun
Our sake needs no icing
And we never fire a gun
We are born to scrape and bow
Atomized, our blossoms grow
We just love a G8 show
Or don't notice anyhow!

So, you wanna no who we are?
Well, we are where we began
With a small American
Who's the toast of all Japan.

Touch Three: A Bozo Call Center Song

Pervious

Worldly class
Nerve pious
Pain in ass:

"We'll serve well
Who can tell?
Cost ain't much
Is nonesuch
Then we'll do
Parlez you
Due for me
Liberty
Full of lerve
New Order
Softly swerve
Fenced border
Standin' tall
Stand at all?
Stranded pall
Lack o' verve"

Boys named Sue
Girls named Jim
Boys named Jim
Girls named Sue
We are him
We are her
We are sure
We are pure
We are you
We are who?

What we do?
Call for Feds?
Grease the sleds?
No, not right
Left to fight
Put in sheds
Cardamoms
Non-denoms
Pro phenoms
Guerre de noms
Rode 'em goad
Smote 'em road
Slight 'em toad
Slaught 'em load
Not me 'em
Spite spite spite
Right right right
Isle of Might?
Isle of Bright?
Isle of Light?
Buggery
Muggery
Druggery
Or Needless
Or Weedless
Or Beatless
Round 'em up
Thuggery
Au pairs verse:

"We waiting
You dating
We mating
You 'bating
We sating
You 'lating
'stipating
Din' slating
5* 'ting
'ervating
'copating
'stillatin'
'templating
Acquainting
'ulatin'
Frustrating
'lioratin'
Deflating"

See fate in
What's on hold
Never old
Never die
Never lie
A true man
Subhuman
Be good girl
Be old whorl
Be disguise
Be accept
Be receipt
Caveat
Take a leap
We can buy
We ask why
Why why why
We can try
We can spy
Spy spy spy
Alibi

Answer phone
Say alone
Say all one
Say enthrall
Say appall
Brief mention
Convention?

We shall free
Overcome
We be dumb
Groin in knee
American
Amerique
Amour props
C'est technique
Snicker snee
So we speak
So we sleek
So we sneak
Grilla Meek
Flotsam peak
On a streak
On a tweak
On a thirst
Cannot slake
First in hearts
First in parts
First in farts
First in starts
Amber waves
Early graves
Most unsave
We repave
We close shave
We dig raves
In the nave
Forever.
Customer.
Preserve us.

Bozo Paul's Lament: A Bozo Tributary Song

I could have been most anything
I put my mind to be
But the Easy Life
Was all that I could see.

It's a weak man's revelation
Not a real epiphany
But weak men mostly fail
Or they land up in a jail
They make themselves for everyone to see.

(Chorus)

You know I always had a notion
To be married in my time.
Her photograph I cut and paste til nine.
Noon she left me at the altar
Said "There's no use, you're just slime!"
And you know all the rest,
Still I only did my best,
So I'll do nothing more than merrily agree!

(Chorus)

Then I thought I'd be a nowboy
Writing words and living free
The pen's the thing that does my best for me.
But my vows they all went mad
I suppose it's sorta sad.
So I drank Labatt's
Til steaks were cooked for me.
MacKinsey, where's the pills and mammaries?

(Chorus)

Then to Hollywood I ventured
Via Hormel-by-the-Sea
And it always tried to be that way to me.
Left my Mom and Dad of course
Left me shallow
Left me hoarse
But the deadly pall
Well it belongs to me!

(Chorus)

So I saw it all so quickly,
Now I'm cased in this cement
I ain't got time for any more lament.
How To Be A Stranger To Be
In This Land Our Land The Free:
"A winsome, losesome smile
Setting frozen in the dial
And a rosy arrow
Pointin' right at  E".

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Oh God why'd I schlep my youth away?
Yippee I Tie O!
Yippee I Tie A!
One man's mirth
Makes another man's day!
But Oh God, how I schlepped my youth away!

The 1000% Solution: A Bozo Reichenbach Song

The name's Jobs.
Backed by Crow Sheryl
Who needs no more beer
Her songs aren't in peril.
It wasn't meet cute
For sure 'twas neat loot!

1000% year over year.

Stinkin'? My Victrola's
From Royal Crown Cola
Click my heels here on Nod
To King Steve Of iPod
Lobbin' bombs DMA
O'er Pharisee Way.

One Infinite Loop
Has not one scoop
Of innovation
Of convocation
Of creamy concoctions
Or one expensed option
Nope, it's more like that Lear
Steve got just last year.

Watson, my Sherlock!
And the needle points
Up! This pretty ablution's
Cost benefit solution
Down! 90 IBM joints
To Steve not a shock.

Steve's exceptional
These rules we all owe
To King George, CEO
Whatever's fair
Keeps Dick on as Laird
In the money
O'er the water
Atop slaughter
Neo Glencoe
Who's the foe?

We are.
We never grow.
Our lives are show.
We take a blow
We cower in snow
Our nose knows
We're nowhere.

In 5 colors
United States
A slate of proxies
A date with moxy
At the Roxy?
"Out Damned Copyright Sequel!"
Yes! and "Lord Of The Prequels"

Remains uncompensed
No health care and no rent.
We're bent
We bow down
We worship clowns
We're dense
We're incense:
Buy a put
Call a fear
Shed a tear for
Us, by your leave
Are exactly like Steve
1000% smut.

Teeming With Theming: A Bozo Campaign Song

Dick's on my right
He's not behind my back
Rumm's got to fight
He's just can't take no flack
When we hit the ground
Cut us a bit o' slack!

(Chorus)

War's going bad
We might well say it's black
Oops! We shoulda said:
"Earn your vote's our knack!
When you start to drown
Throw us a line of crack!!!"

(Chorus)

How do we win?
We need to cut more tax!
What is our spin?
The rich must get the max!
When your eyes spin around
You'll be in our class act.

(Chorus)

We don't remember
We're such a scary pack
Once in September
We didn't read the facts
When those planes came down
We got our money back.

(Chorus)

We want 4 more years
We see not one drawback.
We don't want your tears
We're on a righteous track.
When you don't vote thumbs down
We shall again ransack!

(Chorus)

Chorus:

We've turned a corner
We're not turning back
We've burned them for'ners
We're not Old Party hacks
When GB comes to town
There's Air Force One's Sad Sack.

A Country In Danger: A Bozo Warning Song

If your interest is to con
But your khan is not quite on
Then your messages shall pass
Through a lesser sort of ass
So please use servers from Virginia
And a bit of Dutch hasbeenah
To assure a lasting fame
via Grand Old Shelley game:

Soon you'll see and know just why
Only traitors do defy
The conclusions of commission
With al-Qaeda exhibitions.

"Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world" (P.B. Shelley)

Slept Through The Intercept: A Bozo Crisis Song

Pervez, c'mon, what's our next move?
When's al-Qaeda in the groove?
I can't wait to pay you off
With so many still laid off
Don't tell me 'bout Waziristan
Unless it rebuilds Fearistan!

Tony, are you feeling fine?
New labour's all I need to shine
Just had to ask to stay alive:
Do you hire at MI5?
That Imam Hamza: worth a look?
Help me, else I get the hook!!!

Hear now Saviour, give me Osama
He's my Keyes against Obama
And Purple Hearts to upset Kerry
(From Statin Island: Sail On Dick's Ferry!)
Or whatever magic acts
Your chat line pulls from e-mail tracts!

There's no need for us to prove it
Ohio's terror told me "Shove it!"
We're turnin' round, not takin' flack
Accomplished mission? Be right back!
Let's get this country full of danger
Or I'm the last employed Lone Ranger!!!

May Be Clean, Can't Be True: A Bozo Nominee Song

I'm Porter Goss
Your brand new boss
I'll take up your fight
But not today
That wouldn't play
In Virginia City
On my own I'm not
Hoss Cartwright

Eager to command
Strike up 9/11 band
Of brothers and smother
My best shot
Veracity
Ex-Rep in DC
Land of make believe
What I perceive.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Commission? Not my mission!
They said oversight
Was my sleight of hand
So cite me again
We play to win.

Family values?
Old news, like al-Qaeda
Casin' joints 3 years ago.
They fooled our coppers
Didn't hire choppers
Or limo vans
Or Pakistan
But planes? Flo-rida day!

(Chorus)

Keanin' this Goss
To put a gloss
On history 
Very mixed his reach
Bye Hamilton Beach
A summer repeat
Same old story.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Oooo, baby baby
Give me avia!
Give me a CIA!
Give me reform!
Quiet my storm!
Before they hang ye
Out in Langley
Hold fort maybe
A 1938 Porter
My Mother The Czar.

Will To Won't They: A Bozo Surround Song

Baby and I are in Najaf
You're right, not for laughs
We like our time safer
We don't eat wafer.

Baby asks, "Who's all clear?"
I say, "Some such year"
Then the boys get madder
They love al-Sadr.

Could we be Korngold?
Nope, the maids marryin'
Don't care for the poor
They're pure in heart
Margin call veil
Vested in death.

Baby wants to start
"We're on for 6"
"Interior fixed?"
"With al-Jazeera".

I have no clue
Our bills come due
Baby mixes the Chex
Goes long the forex.

We grow cold.
We take a breath:
"We got the sack"
Intonies Iraq
Baby entreats
"Time to depart
No white sheets".

"And you wanted this?
Babe we're not amiss
Clearer vision
Wizirs tear we
Baby, is it seemly?
An al-Qaeda dream."

Just Deserts: A Bozo Birthday Song

Gee men aren't he men
They're tyranny's see men
Helpin' this DOJ
To make torture pay:

(Chorus)

"Are you up for our war?
Just so you know the score
We'll be back with some more
Of those knocks at your door"

(Chorus)

Now, just what do they teach?
Fear's all they can preach.
Like the stone in their peach
That old thing called free speech.

(Chorus)

"Did you buy at Home Depot?
We just wanted to know
Did you share the Gov's bed?
We just heard what he said."

(Chorus)

See they came not to roust
Their subpoena's from Faust
But you seemed like a louse
So they'll tear down your house.

(Chorus)

"Oh say! Evil you sing
Must be evil you bring
Proof's a tricky old thing
How about a nice sting?"

(Chorus)

Bridge:

When a country's in danger
It don't trust a stranger
Or in freedom believe
When a family grieves

"We aren't under covers
We carry out orders
We know who's your lover
We'll show you the border"

(Chorus)

That's the way of today
In this free USA
While al-Qaeda's at bay
Safe as ever they say.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Why, why, why
Do we need the FBI?
"Sigh, sigh, sigh
We never catch a fly."

Charter The Course: A Bozo Pastiche Song

A lightning trip fantastic on a bit of Sammy's plastic
(with apologies to James Blake)
 
East Side
West Side
Oil Around The Town
Our kids love Halliburton
It's the only school around.

Reading comprehension
May not inflate Jane's grade
Our math will fund Dick's pension
$30 million in the shade.

East Said
West Said
Iraqi voters, you'll see
Baaths are really a pleasure
With an X called Allawi!

We're the Grand Old Party
With the Patriot rage
Lovin' Haley, that smarty
We can hardly turn a Page!

Boys and girls won't vary
We just send 'em to war
When a gay they do marry
We extend another tour.

East sighed
West sighed
Unilateral We
Infidels go to heaven
When they try our third degree.

How about Ground Zero?
We'll pay that pledge one fine day.
So where are all those heroes?
We need pics right away.

PS you protestors
We will not vouch for you
But all Wall Street investors
Your voucher's overdue!!!

Tom DeLay is cackling
Cruisin' 'round Central Pork
Bloomberg sells his cracklin'
And the Sidewalks of New York.

Three Card Monte: A Bozo War Song

Shiites and Sunnis and Kurds
Are all at a loss for words
What they spy with their eyes
Is but their cause defied
By a man seen but seldom heard.

In the war did we topple Saddam
Or pave over Bechtel's macadam?
When the road was ahead
We forgot where it led
So we toppled again and again.

First up was Chalabi the good
Who turned out to be quite a good hood
Course we paid from our till
Until he had our fill
Let his nephew charge Saddam instead.

Then there came Imam Sistani
Who looked like that ancient Irani
But he said peace was fine
In his piece of a shrine
So he fit right away with our spin.

We decided to meet all the gang
Of Iraqis we picked without fangs
But they said, "Not Allawi!
We're not yet Hekawis
This F-Troop's not your better half!"

Uh oh, there's this Imam al-Sadr
Young and strong on a head growing madder.
We thought he was a laugh
Then surrounded Najaf
Mahdi army's show stopping the bill.


Let's see, just who is the safer?
USA or that late Bremer wafer?
Well, depends on the snack
Our best gives gays the sack
Better now or late sure we shall be.

So the story is ready to tell.
Ok, maybe it's not a great sell.
While our feet stamp exultin'
Our head's iced down at Fulton
Or wherever he now calls Iraq.

The Marshal's In Town: A Bozo Prevention Song

When you need to take a pee
On this old democracy
You don't need to stop or see
Just call up the RNC.

You'll get a Chair who some call Ed
He's listed there like some called Ted
With substance and a clearer head
He might imagine you were dead!

Now let's be fair, Ed's worried sick
'Bout viewers watchin' who aren't thick
He'll not deny there's trouble, too
And not all at the Najaf Zoo.

But how to snare? Ed's quite a fellow!
He'll elevate Condition Yellow
Oops! That's been done, well Great White Way
Just what else does Ed have to say?

"The Democrats are going to have to be careful"
Nope, not about a Google shareful
The White House arms Ed's marching band
From Nuremberg to Bloomberg's land
Ed doesn't know Swift Boat investors
Ed's not above a bit of fretting:
"about not letting
the protestors
get out of hand."

But that's all in today's past tense
Ed takes a poke, he meant to salve
The raging bull who tripped on slurry
Ate up Ed's pork in quite a hurry
Not Flushing Meadows tennis lobs
Lost way more than a million jobs
Yet Ed found lines so very blurry
As do such Chairs of good intention:
"I'm not sure they want to have
Democrats engaging in violence
Against our convention".

"Seems disrespectful
Antidemocratic"
The Chair is set on
Kill not stun
Of those opposed
Plots and schemes
Upsetting Ed's
November dreams
We must suppose.

For Pharoah W 43
Ed's slow guns are not yet a sect
Or semi-automatic
When shoguns oily don't relieve
They're stuck with you and must deceive
So Eddie G will be right back.

Dame Fortune's out on holiday.
Ed's 47 will still not sway
From NYC to cold AK
Those 53 of Rs and Ds
Who answer: "Hey!
This country's off the track!"

Chain of Command: A Bozo Passing Song

In the chain of command
We don't put up the Banns
We don't know yet whose lands
Are the ones we can can.

We are woman and man
Fighting evil's best plan
We aren't devils who scan
The polls closest at hand.

It goes something like this:
You're a rogue with a dog
In a systemic fog
Just a bump on a log
Making teens take a piss.

It goes something like that:
I'm a three-star general
Speaking at a convention
It's but my God's contention
That his God's my doormat.

It goes something like who:
All that's needed is fewer
With an attitude dour
Plus shock, awe, and power
I don't watch, they can't sue.

It goes something like where:
Just a wink from the boss
Hide 'em, here's the Red Cross
Tie 'em up, what's the loss?
Army surplus that chair!

It goes something like why:
I condemn all the ads
All prepared by my lads
You know it's just a fad
Our vets love best to lie.

It goes something like but:
Nah, it's way down below
Nah, up here there's just snow
Nah, it sure ain't our show
Yep, they're some kind of nuts!

It goes something like if:
We could cut some more tax
Or reorder more tacks
You can never relax
That's the truth our curs sniff!

It goes something like and:
When you fight on the beach
A whip's not far from reach
See, the lesson to teach
Can't be drawn in the sand.

It goes something like bend:
Lindy joined to get paid
George moved Gen. Abazaid
Dick said mistakes were made
By this chainful of friends.

Using means without end.

Sudan: A Bozo Sigh Song

Sudan is a dance
Like the dream
Our romance
So it seems
Is unfed
By the west.

Sudan is a trance
Like my Dad's
Eyes recall
When he pees
On the wall
Of Mom's knees.

Sudan is no chance
Like the weed
Going stale
In old schemes
Of the pale
Second best.

Sudan is the brain
Like the one
Of the same
Scattered zone
In the shame
Of some lads.

Sudan is the heart
Like the beat
Of the drum
Soft retreat
Where they come
To be freed.

Sudan is my home
Like the deal
We don't strike
When to steal
Off the shrike
In my bed.

Sudan is alone
Like the end
Of a life
A best friend
Was the wife
Then you're dead.

Oh Say, Can You See Ossetia? A Bozo Barrelling Song

Same old Putin
Puttin' the boot in
He doesn't make deals
He jails all the squeals
If they are still there.

Vlad's a KGB man
Whenever a mess
Out comes his orders
Perimeter border
Trip wired fires
Funeral pyres.

In a subway
On a plane
Top a tower
Feel the power
G-7 gain
Make 'em pay.

(Geroi?
Dead girls and boys
Nah, shove our vremennyi
Full of slime, i kratkoy ili mwee
So'd it seem such are we!)

Do schoolkids spell
According to Zell?
"Soldiers give us
Free press
Free speech"
Dead shot glasses
No belts on the bus.

Out of reach
Spreadin' fear.
Word so far
Too darn late
Close the bar
Dismal fate.

Those alive
Don't forget
Don't forgive
Pigs don't fly
In world sty
They sell.
They shell.
They can.
Beslan.

Spam, Ma'am: A Bozo Clashin' Song

Get a longer member!
Experience enjoyment.
So is this how it goes?
At the Capitol show?

Meant when we saw the steppe
And perforce had to schlepp
To the Senate
Is this Mein, innit?

On the farm a man is strong
But to pharma we belong
A roach motel is how to souse
Our living hell and Kerry's spouse.

'Course on the go
We damn WTO
But when the cracks
Are filled Zanax...

Well, let's be bold!
Before we grow old
Oh Senor! De nada
17 you're sad?
Aah! You'll soon be the cease
Ne'er mind the increase.

Three By Four: A Bozo Lumber Song

We who ride
In this Humvee
Will not be spared.

We won't glide
In bouncing polls
Our oily stares.

We are such
That who is rolled
Is not our care.

We who see
Are not unmoved
To take a dare.

We who sing
In tempers proved
Just how to swear.

We don't blush
When children ringed
Are in despair.

We who write
Are here to bring
A triumph there.

We shall know
A fashioning
Of what to wear.

We are one
And all unum
E pluribus.

We who fight
Tote up the sum
Arrive at us.

We are done
In this dark night
We grow too cold.

Writ One, For Perle Two: A Bozo Pastiche Song

Prologue under railroad tracks:

Knit one
Perle two
Black won
Perle due
Black lost
Perle sue
Snit one
SEC
(Perle cue:
Not me!)

(with apologies to Marlo Thomas, Ted Bessell, Bill Persky, and Sam Denoff)

Jackson-Vanik, Ex-Dem
That Perle
Reagan, Contras, Arms Swaps
Is That Perle

For dosh he'll wink at old Rummy
He's everything that every Perle should be!

Graying, taking, fat fees
That Perle
Iraq, contrite, no chance
Is That Perle

He's neocon
Unluckily for you

If you find a Perle to love
Hollinger's hand in glove
Shall buy you
That Perle, too!

That Perle!

Q&AThe Life Today:  A Bozo Persistence Song

Where is our steaming pile?
Babe said, "Wait a while!
There comes an attack
And we'll peal back
Bells will ring
There's nothing we'll lack"

What does tomorrow bring?
Babe said, "Well, here's the thing
If we had kids
They'd be backin' Ids
Or fightin' for Yids
The money's gone"

Which is the best one?
Babe said, "You go to hell
We need to sell
Goretex for truth
More vexed than youth
Give 'em a fast pill"

When comes our bid?
Babe said, "It's a trill
Back in the tongue
Longeurs too shrill
Join the Navy
Wi-Fi gravy"

Who was it again?
Babe said, "But that's the point
Go roll a joint
As amber grain waves
A spaceship comes
Down hard, doesn't last"

Final Solution's The Latest Ablution: A Bozo Pastiche Song

(Apologies to Dooley Wilson and Herman Hupfield)

It's still the same old story
In fights among the whore-y
A case of just a lie
These fundamental things apply
As times goes by.

And when two liars woo
They still say:
"It was you!"
On that you can rely
No matter what elections bring
As time goes by.

Your heart is a prisoner?
Tied and held prostrate?
Beatin' 'neath our stonewall
So that is your fate.
Generals need a plan
And agents need to bait
On that you can rely.

It's just a denied story
In Bush's fight for glory
To win whate'er the sty.
Their world will always forgive Nazis
As time goes by.

Imprimatur: A Bozo Crossing Song

Like him, I'm mature
So I say to myself:
"Well those guys were far worse
3,000 times hearse
All we do is torture
Home of brave free future".

And then I rehearse:
"See we need bills of lading
To bring welts thru our trading
Craft's not likely a maiden
Promised vestal bin Laden!"

No, I don't think we're scummy
When our cause plays gin rummy
Falls right off trusty Ford
Never fallin' on swords
Everyone dressed in drag
Is the Michigan Rag.

Or you might say: "He's mine
Cloaked in Saudi ermine
Or a bit of an ant
Enemy Combatant
Savin' bundles on mess
Strikin' out due process".

But that wouldn't be pure
These exploits of the sure
So there's bodies and pelf
Full of death, on the shelf
In a Bible to span
Cue bits of the Koran
O'er a fence Abraham.

Who the hell is I am?

Comes The Terror In Error: A Bozo Auditing Song

Let's divert Ivan
From Iraq's swan song:
"Feel our fire
Your insurgency
Not a matter of urgency
Unless you're a liar."

We could build a dam
But that wouldn't make sense
Batman is our present tense
On a palace:
"Alice, boom!
Over the moon!!!"

We should build a school
That's so cool, where's the ROTC?
Among the Nazis?
Less ecstasy, more Prozac
With allies from Anzac
Kidnapped as a rule.

We would make a pipe
Then the crude flows
To a nudie show
Called Janet Jackson
Her tits we swipe
Like assault weapons.

We good, we lack malice
To send the spam
They're eatin', we're cretins
The show goes along
Tet Tet Tet almost

Stock Up At Depot: A Bozo Plywood Song

Mortgage Fraud!
It's epidemic!
That's today's 2-ply
From the FBI.

(Chorus)

A tornado flowed
In our panhandle
There's Iraq, not a scandal
That's what the forged docs showed.

(Chorus)

Bridge:

Ivan's got me down.
Babe's startin' to drown
We built our fence around Mobil
I played George Gobel
She was Irene Demic
But the screenplay didn't sway
They said, "All computers today"

We coulda been civilians
Meetin' nearby, so we're villains
Got that reporter, shot from on high
He dies, no nigh to speak.

(Chorus)

Babe comes back
Beneath the flack
She wants a hack
At my soft skin.

(Chorus)

No wait, I'm a man
Last one left
In Sudan
I'm bereft.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

Get the Flying Squad
I hear the House of Saud
Is pumpin' more
Or less, my wife's baud
Wiped out by fraud
Settlin' pore by pore.

Oh Very Young In A Wild World: Two Bozo Pastiche Songs
(with apologies to Cat Stevens and Yusuf Islam)

Preamble:

Morning has broken
This plane won't climb
Our list has spoken
Unlike last time.

Oh Very Young
Who will you heave off this time?
You're only dancing for your worth
In tubs of grime
But then your schemes and boss
Do often bring planes down.

Oh Very Young
When will you ever learn?
You never seize the chance to change your mind
Or help the world to see a better day...

Will you carry away that Madonna too?
When she rides the Wailing Wall into heaven?
And though you want to last forever
You know you make us ill
And terror seems to be all you can shill.

Oh Very Young
How much more grief from your crimes?
Your only chance is to scare and to slime
Oh very young
What was the point please this time?

Ooh, ooh Yusuf's in our wild world
It's hard to deplane
When United flies.

Uh, oh his daughter's free to go, world
She don't write refrains
Like suspicious guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

You know, we think about what words can do
See we twist 'em all quite well on cue
That's the way our terror scars.

When Swift Boaters do our work anew
They might pump a bullet into you
Or clear the coast for Prince Bandar!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Ooh, ooh don't it seem so mild, girl?
Just don't abort that child!

Ooh, ooh 'coz when you do, girl:
You'll soon be moppin' Cuban tile!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

When You Say You Lost Your Way: A Bozo Quartering Song

When you flash a bit of titty
Costs you half a mil.
When you blow up Lockerbie
Ten billion pays the bill.

When you want security
Divert 'bout 3.5
When you're with Zaqawi
Your head won't stay alive.

When you change to Islam
Your records will not sell
When you run a prison
You stem up covered cells.

When you speak of freedom
You mean another land.
When you donate these sums
A-list is sleight of hand.

When you're in the army
Your brothers are a band.
When you get too smarmy
You're civilians on the lam.

When you have an op
You pay for every scar.
When you're at the top
You don't know who they are.

When the plane is grounded
You may not be a cat.
When your refrain is hounded
You lose the prayer mat.

When you seek a bit of peace
You might just be for war
When you want to break the lease
You end up in a jar.

When you sit and watch
You cower, hate and fear
When it's on your watch
You obfuscate and sneer.

When your freedom's over
Your terror starts its run
When your latest lover
Is the barrel of your gun.

When your leaders failed you
You wondered more or less
When your leaders jailed you
Your country was a mess.

When you might well kill 'em
You finish off the crumbs
When your vote don't spill 'em
The evil you've become.

Why We Don't Fight: A Bozo Strategy Song

The mission was accomplished
A year ago or more
The terrorists around today
Are not part of the score.

Let's take our pick
I've spotted Dick
Who says: "You're a defeatist!
My $36 mil's no poison pill
It's just that you're elitist!"

So what to do? I'm in a stew
I just woke up from slumber
140 and 130 is what they call
A number I can't add
Of ours of course and theirs on course
Diverted from erections
Off record is that mad?
Or so said Abizaid:
"To safeguard their elections"

Then up comes the PM
Allawi thanks again
And thinks those pouring in
Are just the way to win.

But give me time for Rummy
The king of upset tummys
He walks the talk
Of bodies chalked
Who never find the scummy
Or say, "It was my fault!"

A special relationship
My beef in a French dip
But their ambassador
Caused quite the best furor
When he intimated,
"Workin' for Tony
I couldn't be a phony
Or say just what I meant
About your President
The chief recruiting sargent for
Those of al-Qaeda bent".

You see, I'm scared this fall
And all that works for them
They tell me they're my friend
They cut my capital gains
They shelter hurricanes
They don't like truth
But fear, forsooth
Will bring 'em back again.

Weekend Update: A Bozo Fate Song

The lyrics are ready
Guitar's set on steady
We order it rare
Disorder? Don't care!

Intention to shock?
No, just Iraq
Full of death
Diaphramin' breath.

It's not steroids
It's just adenoidal:
"Memorial service
For heads cut off
Not Robert Service
Long ago shut off"

Skema roidal
He tries to sneak
Underneath Arik
But protocols
Are just y'all
Why be smart?
Sell 'em at Wal Mart.

We couldn't save 'em.
'Coz if they came on a boat
Like some Gonaives float
We'd jail 'em
The tale's a fugue R
Subsidized sugar
And that's all she wrote.

Glock A Morrow In Samarra: A Bozo Sledge Song

Debate one well over
We don't run for cover
'Coz Babe and I fear
Waitin' for pay
Where's the buzz, do we care?
All is fair! Our bizz to clear
Samarra.

Say, guns are blazin'
Insurgents are strangers
Babe thinks it's wise
To sell our franchise
Works so swell
No matter the dangers
Some days in Florida.

Babe gets the grippe
From our relationship
It's not about allies
They caper callous
Don't wait, we're shallow!
I'd a spread like lice.

Go! Invited come kids
To see the new age
Rebuilt from sewage
Then blew 'em up
Vladimir's sup.
Babe knows: "Shut up!"

I could be very much
Like Kerry, or somesuch
Yaley, but I'm too scaly
My brain's lost in would
Or should or blood
Or amazin' shills
Depose my hate
Under the till.

Fitting In Between: A Bozo Playground Song

For our story to climb
To a future sublime
There is trinity.

Gordon Cooper leaves Earth
Rotates 22 times
In May of '63.


My friend Bob and I
Are drawing the lines
Of a spaceship
That never will be.

He's a little too fat
And he bobs just like that
I'm a little too thin
Get Meek right on the chin.

We fight hard down at school
To avoid those too cool
But of course we are had
When they start to get mad.

So you get up, and why
Is it so hard to cry?
Succumbs up the lids
Of a beaten up kid.

For sure I could shout
Go to hell, you big lout
Bob became a Boy Scout.

Do you know what's a shame?
It's that no one's to blame
While our anger got tamed.

Gordo died at 77
Bob, he too died at 47
Here I am to dismay
Being drawn far away.

Last Resort, Last Report: A Bozo Iraq Song

Preamble:

Bush will say a thousand ways it's not my fault, for sure.
Kerry won't say, 'coz he voted for a pointless war.
We can never repay, having lost our way
For dead is just what we are.

A thousand Americans have died
For nothing other
Than the revenge of a son
Upon his father.

Ten thousand Iraqis have died
And no one bothers
With weighing: "We tried
But haven't found one
Hand over the oil
We've only begun."

Show how the bloodthirsty ones
Who wrote eds for the Post
Why, they now write the coast
Seems clear for that father's son.

Tell me who's the bigger fink?
The one who decried
The inspector's eye
Or the one who lied about links?

Three thousand Americans died
The killers got off quite scot free
These spillers of blood
Came to this neighborhood
While our leaders denied
Liberty.

Hear us sleep.
Just like sheep
We'd rather not sigh
Or give up alibis
The truth's what we fear
Way down deep.

Lad, A Dad: A Bozo Doggone Song

It's the deadly kind of pallor
Strikes the skin
With lines of valor
Greying up from down below
Bending forlorn yellow.

Here there's only certain sleep
Off the mind   
A cobweb sweeps
What's remembered soon gets old
Or dismembered winding cold.

Might where is the right of way?
Spin the bottle
Tranquil mode
Try to fight, no longer say
Well, let's face another day.

He falls, calls out so shrill
Eliding rode with
Fingers mottled
Time to see if chest will rise
Weep no more for sunny skies.

I look like him resounds
In some such hymn
Of silence rounds
What all we had is closed
Unopened letter prose.

Watching thinly lifting lips
Kiss and goad
A quiver slips
There the end of why
Where we sent good-bye.

Spain in '18: A Bozo Historical Song

Babe and I are in Japan
Working out a virus
Saddam don't admire us
We fixed our section
On Spanish elections
They made it happen.

Eighteen was long ago
And fighting's no go
Dead young pretensions
Establish protocols
Of Had-i-cols
Of Berlin Walls.

Our info don't contradict
What makes the man a prick
And millions will die
Highly pathogenic
Outbreak's a cinch
So predict: photogenic.

Just one gene called HA
Is what makes Bush today
Sufficiently unaligned
He inches less benign
Changes easily
Debates queasily.

This strain could mutate
Although fifth-rate
Killed my great uncle
Without a word
To humans from birds
Cross beaks carbuncled.

Say, weren't there inspectors?
I said, "Babe erects her
WMD via me"
Babe said, "Where the heck's your
Japanese honey?"
See, we both tease...
That's our disease. 

The Truth Kills Youth: A Bozo Excuse Me Song

Pardon my French
But in them trenches
Aren't they fightin' a guerre
Or did they come to swear
In your SUV?
In a Humvee?
O snicker snee
You killed 'em
Or did we?

Oh, say
I can see instant retort
Gist of failure report:
"Justifies, positin' lies
Justifies, rustin' ties
Justifies, beatin' 'em
Justifies, meetin' 'em
Justifies, we don't pay
Justifies, we don't sway
Justifies, return me
Justifies, don't spurn me
Justifies, your fat gut
Justifies, the max cut
Justifies, justifies, justifies"

And maybe
We say the truth
Is what killed youth
The sense we know
The past tense show
We don't ignore
We are such bores
We won't be sore
We'll take the scar
We were attacked
We were sacked

A game like football
Or moot ball
Or soot ball
Or shoot ball
Or loot ball
Or cahoot ball
Ou tout balls

Smut endowed orders
Seals slimy borders
Forward
Back
Forward
Hack
Forward
Snack
Backward
Shack
Backward
Smack
Backward
Wrack
For words.

A German
A murman
A mensh
A sermon
A bench
A hun
A stun
Notion
Avenge.

A cause for war
A pause for raw
A loss of straw
A kind of law
A hanging chad
A dead lad
His wife's sad
But hubby's reserve
Will now serve
Kids now left
Bereft she's swept
Away we say!
Election Day.

Snout's Honor: A Bozo Troughing Song

Little Kuwait!
It's not too late
To earn from
This here decision.

Or else you'll lose more
See that country before
Little Belgium
Paid no commission.

Here comes envoy Baker
To get out of the soup
A mano of mono
He don't work pro bono
Got debts? Meet his maker
The Carlyle Group.

Forgive and forget?
Is in Texas a bet
On what may happen yet
If our price isn't met.

There's a song born of fission
From the bush it was sent
And here's what is meant
By a new noble mission:

"Their world's suffered
No flu shots
Just bon mots
And terrorist threats
A breakdown!
O please try to forgive me!
Forget Kerry outlives me!
These sheikdowns
From Jim B.
Shall buffer our set."

Lyndee, Not Bjork, Not Windy: A Bozo Blaming Song

She had a baby today
He was conceived far away
She scorned Iraqis
Subborned in the sand
He's unchained on command
From her khakis.

When she comes up for trial
Her baby will pay
In a land of denial
Why should he have a say?
Fall upon mommy's smiles
What remains of our day.

She embedded and moved
To be cruel from above
But they're too far removed
Lo! she must shove and shove
Obey. Obey. Obey.

Abu Abut Abud
A slut in a hood
Gharaib A Babe A Labor
Of love at first sight
Out of favor.

Back in DC an old man denies
No babes are asleep
As terror shall creep
To her room
Hecatomb
Of good guys.

Brought to a court martial
She abandoned the lash
They aren't too partial
To lesser white trash
The babe's in her arms
A winsomeless charm.

When one mom's led astray
One new babe will not sway
One old man on the way
To defend come what may
Ignorance on display
So became USA.

Kai Lung Got Hung: A Bozo Empty Wallet Song

Backing off the champagne
It's not much to feign
In my campaign
Of stayin' sane.

We begin with a comma,
Like Ernest Bramah,
Who wrote Kai Lung,
Whose wallet he brung:
"But the whole narrative
Is permeated
With the odour
Of joss-sticks
And honourable
Highmindedness
And the two characters
Are both
Of noble birth"

The joss-sticks
It's in an SUV
Burning up near a mosque
You don't have to ask
They hate us
Around the world
We are Crusaders
We are Invaders
We are Pomaders
Butch, Bush, Flushed

The highmindedness
It's our blindness
In a rind of a mind
Smoked by Brahmins
On Boston Common
Who make their day
Exploiting the gay
With nothing sweet
Under the sheets
Very Kerry Wary

The odour isn't honour
It's a rotor rooter goner
Backed up and flyin'
To back 'em in Zion
We spent our relyin'
On blamin' the spyin'.

He can't be defeated
It's the cult of meat
Copyright creative
Copy fight native
Stroppy slight elated
Be in stores of spores
But we sold 'em to hell
Lines of cows, cryin' smells
The bugs, the cells, the brusque
To let 'em becomes us.

When no gos don't shine
I write no fine line
Kai tells me to whine
We go on cryin'
Between sign and co-sign
Then sink into brine.

II of The I'll: A Bozo Pastiche Song And A Bozo Outlook Song

The Hennery Song

I'm George W I say I am
Vlad the Impaler's right hand man.
I got married by the Bishop next door
Who paid off altar boys with whom he scored.
And every gun in my hennery
Makes golden eggs but never viral jams
'Coz Chiron flu from Tony's 'pool
Is safer than Canadians.

(Second verse, same as the first)

The Ground Song

You've got to get your mind around
What happened when planes hit the ground
That was the end of cooking books
Pet goats became Our Age of Kooks.

A general whose name was Franks
Did not find much except some tanks
But rather than say, "I am third rank"
He said, "Iraq will give us thanks".

There was a veep, a man quite sick
Saw deficits were Reagan's trick
So deeply try them out again?
If you say no, you're Qaeda man.

He had a daughter who is a gay
Her rights are forfeit the Nazi way
When she advises Daddy's camp
You almost hear the tramp, tramp, tramp.

Bridge:

Well if you're old
Your flu's on hold
Hell, if you're young
You're well among
Those who are killed
Beside the point
Of praying shills
Or polling joints.

It was the faith of barbecues
That made him say, "I just love you!
Now that we're one, we must rebel
Against the hope of our stem cells."

Why did this country all go wrong?
Did we not used to be so strong?
Did we not say, "We have no fear"?
Or was that sold with votes this year?

Were not our ideals world admired?
Was not our lot a dream inspired?
Was terror not far out of bounds?
Did anger kill the freedom sound?

Let's end Our Age of Wary Looks
By asking friends
'Round earth to cook
With mirth sublime
A love to climb
Away from planes
To peaceful nooks.

Read It Here: A Bozo Burning Song

T. Heinz of variety
Is downcast by piety
She says "I apologize"
For that's what they'll buy!

But Theresa's all wrong
Laura Bush belongs
Unheeled by Job
A gleaming harridan
Of a bestial man.

Librarian?
Of watch fobs
Karamazov's brother
No hope for you others
Who have diseases
That don't rightly please
Her fascist breezes.

Teacher?
Tell the kids they can't
Have a rave or a rant
Or a bit of laughter
Or the morning after
Says lady scientist
Of cease and desist.

When Eva's brown
There's Evita's frown
On a terror grown
To serve her own.

She raised 'em up
Daughters of darkness
Twin cams, body slams
Sham sparkiness.

Dewey decimal notation:

000 Generalities (Banalities)
100 Philosophy and Psychology (Sophistry and Dikeologoy)
200 Religion (That's Our Pigeon)
300 Social Sciences (No! Self-Reliance)
400 Language (Gharaib Cage)
500 Natural Sciences and Mathematics (Fatuous Spies In Poll Schematics)
600 Technology (Applied Sciences-Reapplied Feckless Ideology)
700 The Arts (Not In These Parts)
800 Literature and Rhetoric (Cookin' Books and Dick's Erotic)
900 Geography and History (Honey's Bio? A Mystery!)

Where's my flotation?
Out of reach
There's a peach
Laddism
Lick until slick
Laura is sick
Correct with stick.

In the aura
In the agora
Not in Iraq gore
Her IQ score
I'm still sore
Another tour
Of spinning!

We be fucked
No such luck
Fear dumb clucks
Chuck First Ladies
Of sadism
Of purse dour
Of winning.

Casin' A Joint: A Bozo Grammar Song

The moral dimension's
A sort of declension
The genetive case
To redound disgrace.

There's no dative
Among silent natives
For a pension
Song of derivatives.

When the nominal's
A deadweight nonentity
Two parties call
Out for indemnity.

Or instrumental?
A time of means
In grime were scenes
Of gun grey metal.

J'accusative
Zola's bruisin' sieves
Off my time
No sensation.

Not 'Ball At All: A Bozo Piffling Song

Infuriatingly negative
Pessimistic
Yes I am
My sort of jam's
Atavistic.

Anachronistic:

Jeans and schemes
Don't play at games
They were the same
In childhood
But not very good
Outgrew I wildish
To spout childish
Thinkin' our sewer's
A kind of ewer.

Politics:

Our Bill C's prick
Dubya's bailiwick
My country's gone
Laid out at Qaeda Lawn
Made in America pawn.

Antagonistic:

Those who have brains
Need no seeds
Grain suburbed
Kept by greed, curbed
Must not disturb
This lousy way
We live today.

Heartfelt licks:

Those who die
For a tune lies
We don't pay
Or don't sway
Or sail away
Or ever say
How we sieve
Eez my gift
Tingly in fur
Masochistic.

380 x 360 Tons Of Fun: A Bozo Weaponry Song

In this campaign
There are tons of cash
But the ones in pain
Got hit by cache.

President complains,
"I've got the resolve
I'm in command
While I revolve
A young man's band
Is dead in sand
Don't blame me
That's history...".

Miles back in DC
They fight to kill
In purity and greed
A 9/11 bill
That's not an error
It's aid and comfort
For bringers of terror
To shiny seas.

So what do we get?
No insurance
No endurance
IPO seeds
The needs of white men
Typos of right men.
The spite of slight men.
Death, death, death.

They're men inert
They're called Hestert
They're bought dismay
They're called DeLay
They're cowards of cush
They're called Bush
They're a flu mist
They're called Frist.

These sluts of war
To starve their beast
To gut their peace
Seen once before:
RMN to LBJ

Condemn, condemn, condemn
Kill more kids today.
So the rich can play
No one says a thing
In states of swing.

America, America, America
Of thee I sing.
P U sling:
Wetting, sweating, abetting
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Lambs Lopped: A Bozo Gambling Song

When she saw the seed
I paid no heed
That was before
They started this war.
(Chorus)

We got married
That was yesterday
Now we're harried
Down 'Qaeda way.
(Chorus)

Bridge:

The heat's in ribs
Rubbed out by fibs
Reservin' en suite
Pour bridal meat.

She took apart the shower
Shock, awe, power
Our thirst be slaked
Burstin' corn flakes.
(Chorus)

I gambled on Blacks
Qaqaa's a knack
She killed off Reds
We ended up dead.
(Chorus)

Chorus:

I'm choppin' penos
Here in Reno
Mise en scene-o
Didn't we know?

The Last Message Of Death: A Bozo Breathless Song

Osama portrays:

"Free people don't
Squander their security
Contrary to the Bush claims
For example
We didn't attack Sweden"

al-Qaeda experts inveigh:

So Osama's a Volvo
His make's Golem go?
From medieval resolve
O why don't you have snow?
When we're lost in our Saabs
Can we kill all you yobs?
Islam just a curse?
Uncle Sammy's reverse?
Or are SAS jets
The new safety net?

I say:

"It's Bergman
Ingrid and Ingmar
It's Rick
It's strawberries
I'm sick
Of Bush and Kerry."

Babe backs away:

"But Anna Lindh
Was killed
In a department store
She screamed, "No more!"
And Osama kept score.
Our time's very ill".

And the right might pray:

"Lindberg's our kind of hero
He flew across
He gave a toss
For Adolf on the sly
Except he minded Jews
See, that was Roth's reply
It's not that what we ain't
It's that Portnoy's Complaint.
We like kikes, Ariel
The Messiah's burial
Was not all your fault
See Gospels of Mel
When the Savior zeroes
Conversion suits well"

And the left might sway:

"They never catch a thing
But when the theme is health
We're sorry but our wealth
Cannot afford to pay
Cannot wire funds some way
Remove that shit DeLay
Disprove bin Laden's gay!
We like our marriage vows
Unless the law allows
Those partners without tact
A reprieve from the gallows
Like niggers hung for voting
We take a pass by noting
Some states have civil rights acts".

But Mom takes it away:

"You only die once
So does how matter?"

Below The Elbow: A Bozo Lifting Song

I stopped by to talk
Dad no longer walks
A wheel chair grips
Shirt's got magnet clip
Beeping bup bup
Should he get up.

In the mornings
Mom can't arise
It's all in her thighs
And my back's borne-ing
Pull, full pain
Drives us insane.

They have good docs
And nurses
And reverses
And old age knocks
Their siren call:
"Sorry, Paul".

When comes cognition
Failed ignition
Jail's definition
Hardly a spare
Strikes out care.
It's only fair:

"My hand's cut
Kiss it better
My Mom's a nut
My Dad's bed wetter
Our lad's on beat
Ain't he sweet?"

Where is our house?
An aging louse
Not Mighty Mouse
Gets quite this soused
On black and tan
Mourning again.

On The Scale Of Aarondale: A Bozo Assisted Care Song

"Your Dad's got to go
It's our cash flow
We can't afford him bare
He might hurt our shares."

"Your Mom's quite a gal
Is she upset?
Well, that's the bet
The relative rage
In the third stage
Will buy us yet
This mini-mall."

"You read the contract
We can make a pitch
About our care
Or pitch Dad out
We don't care
Not an act
Today's facts."

Some did say
The USA
Shines on a hill
But in this mill
We all must shill
Take a pill
Shake until
You die.

Comes a big lie:
"He ate very well
At breakfast
Him we had to sell
That's the score
Of 3 bedsores
By your Dad's nurse
By being cursed
Amassed your Mom's tears
Nasty worthless years"

In this sty called my country
There's no warranty
But the cheap thrill
Of guts that spill
From shits of Aarondale
Remits of swill
$5,000 a month
Wailin' American cunt:
"Your Dad got too ill."

The Cause Came Down To Ozzie: A Bozo Election Song

"Twas a cull
Mate, we had pull
Then Jesus got full
Ate us, awful!"

On this election
There was an erection
Yep, natural selection
Lost this fight.

Or did it?
While some got blue
The lawyers sued
The right renewed.

Amid these shifts
We find a divide
We can't elide
Seems that Shem
Was not a Dem

With words obscene
With words demean
With swords unclean
With gourds of treen
With nordamericano
With saviour piano
With gays credenza
With not much sense a
Civility, mobility
Motility, devilry
Revelry's reveille:

"Our young ones die
They don't insist
On blastocysts
They aren't pregnant
Havin' em, courtin 'em
Abortin 'em, Christ
They went
They're spent
Seashells sent
A sand dollar
For a collar
They went
They went
They went".

Skirtin' The Rovin' Brown Shirts: A Bozo Warning Song

In an ideal society
Tolerance is high
In this land's piety
The chances are nigh.

When you do 69
You say, "Capital!"
When you earn 59
Your spin's marital:
"We must have a man
We must have woman
To be married you see
Is our morality."

But when man is black
But when woman's white
But when man is white
But when woman's black
Not for marriage recorders
But that's not what we mean
See that kind of disorder
Once was just as unclean.

And now it's 2 boys
And now it's 2 girls
And it used to be Jews
And we used to see news
As a serious thing
Not a cat's paw in string.

All aglow in the ring
That blesses our state
Is the al-Qaeda fate
To be just like a fag
Rolled in Siegfried's campfire
By Brunhilde bull dyke
Smoked right down to the end?

Honus Wagner did say
That canards were a sin
When they sold falsities
That yellowed the skin
This offended him
Yet his card today
Is quite savored.

Adolf Hitler he made
A yellow skin lamp
To reflect Wagner's values
In the Book of Mein Kampf
Then a bible construed
Bestial be ye blessed.

Like Carmen Miranda?
Like Miranda warning?
Like Albert Einstein?
Like 'em sissys beat fine?
Like a little dyke tease?
Like to torch the Reichstag?
Like to Bork the Supremes?
Likely these mise-en-scenes?

Rove comes out of the grove:
"No, no, but whetted we are
Victories are for life
Heartily we await
Our Saviour's return
See Adolf won't own us
We won't burn.
We won't waiver."

Aunt Agatha's Wood House: A Bozo Resignation Song

Why didn't they ask Evans?
He's at sixes and sevens
With all the blah
In dollar commerce.

Mystery's not a Christie
Christies got a cut
Of Liberty's nurse
Full o' busty smut.

Did you Don, catch them cons?
Or were you on the farm?
Goin' a bit too soft
Scot free terror croft.

Ashes to ashes
Lashed by judges
Who meant to pee
On Mizzou Saint's john.

Deconstruct Donjon?
Their views to a kill
Dirty bomb cheap thrills
Away all rights
A barrel of vanities
Closin' stems fuse tonight.

Today's cruising Fed man
Don't lose to a dead man
Nope, he only leavens
Risin' ghosts of Saigon
An undertow gongs
In Fallujah.

Tolerance, Then Pallor Once: A Bozo Nederland Song

I'm on the lam
From Amsterdam
It's where I used to live
With tolerance
Of lids perchance
I am a gangja sieve.

But then was killed Theo
A man who liked to show
Just how to piss off
Everyone
By making points
By having fun
Until they cut his throat.

His killer linked to Spain
Like Sinterklaas
A quaint lost cause
Of immigrants
Who were not good
Who misunderstood.

The Queen B message:
"It's your national day!
We here rational pay
To eat street food
And feel so good
Then tomorrow begone!
We're now all one
Nothing to fear
Until next year".

So Theo had to go
And immigrants, too
Whatever you do
We cannot see
We'll take a fee
And fate we'll rue
Our treatise Dutch
And we are such.

Down By Vowel: A Bozo Resignation Song

Here we have a General
His plan goes foul
He posits minerals
He deposits fees
He's cut off at the knees
He's smutty fleece
He's West Indies.

Here we have a Marshall
He sings a song impartial
He brings in liberty
His strings are bowed
He grays a bit cowed
He seems quite purty
He's down and dirty.

Here we have a Plan
He files some drafts
He fights for statecraft
He's an honor man
He's winning white man
He's spinning right fans
He's victim of daft.

Here we have a Colon:
He's a black man Solon
He's a loyal soldier
He's getting older
His subject's disavowal
He streams a filmy scowl
He's Michael Powell:

Red Shoes
Gone To Earth
Black Narcissus
I Know Where I'm Going
Invaders
Colonel Blimp
Ill Met By Moonlight.

The Holy Moan Subsidiary of Speercity: A Bozo Bankruptcy Song

We own this network
It's not just fretwork
We like to guy
In a family way.

Our brand of football
Used to be called cootball
We take our hacks
Exploitin' blacks
It's a knack.
Oh, and women
Are just for semen.

String 'em up!
Bring 'em, yup!
Madden's eyebrows
Not for highbrows
ABC is CBS
Sellin' shit 
For numbers, yes

It's a hit!
Desperate housewives
Funding CEO lives
With Janet's tit.

When do we stop?
When Marines pull the trigger?
When Roy's a nigger?
When Dale takes it off?
When Delay beats the rap?
When our scum's the top?
When we're slummin' soft?
When wounded are dead?
When bound off our head?
When do we say?

"We're ashamed
Of what we are
When we became
A bunch of jailers
Crunchin' enablers
Stuck on pay
We bray
We scar
We muck
We suck".

The Way Ahead: A Bozo Ruling Song

My name is Tom DeLay
You'll learn it
Or you'll pay
That's politics.

I burn wits
At the stake
My thirst I slake
Call me Tom Slick.

In my thunderbolt racer
I play the card
I'm the able bard
Of Texas ticks.

Now out of sight
I might just indict
Or be forgiven
By my band of sticks.

See, I'm driven
To track you down
In a bird, in a plane
You're off my flick.

I play at insane
And wear the crown
Of George II"s turd
Okay, well I'm sick.

Here's a last word:
When I lavalliere
Justice or spin
It's my pinned dick.

Moving Day: A Bozo Filial Song

"Time to move Dad"
We call ambulance
There's no chance
To say goodbye.

"Who'll do the walkthrough?"
I will, and keep Mom away
She's upset today
She can't move ahead.

"Won't fit in the dumpster"
It's a mattress
More or less
I'm a satrap.

"A $50 charge, I think"
The bribe I offer
Settles the coffers
But in the lap...

There's a chair full of pee
And a sofa
And bad knees
And it's old age
In cold storage
My Dad and Mom
Acquainted since ten
That was now
I am then.

Endin': A Bozo Finale Song

Well, I'm glad
My Dad is dead
He'd lost most of his head
Lately I was his brother
When his thoughts could bother.

Had one another:
My Mom, whose heart was broken
By what's left unspoken
When they had the chance
They left it to silence.

79 years
Not too bad
Beat his Dad by 3
Left treasure chest to me
Hated confrontation.

So the Duke plays
Fontainebleau Forest
Not some Duke of white sheets
Or the Duke of Big C
Duke of syncopation.

We're still in pre-season
But our ball's in the woods
Wish I never could
Dish I always would
Dad, he used reason:

"Your mother tells me
I'm disappointed
I'm proud
Not so loud!
What should I say?"

That's yesterday.
The future's what matters
A piety filial
Chock full o' denial
His death scatters.

A Shitless Fan: A Bozo Gets It Right Song

See the LeeTom fall!!!
Boys, you understood
We will never do
What you say we should!

We had this Commission
What gave us contrition
But not really blame
It's such a shame...

Here's the DC game:
The men on the right
Held up a cheap thrill
For a Presidential
Chilean pacifier.

He wanted no Commission
He wanted no ideas
He wanted no admission
Of his useless sort of fear
Or responsibility...

And the families!!!
Such props without chops
They got a couple mil
Their anger served to fill
A hollow for that bill.

What's left is 5,000 dead
Americans
What heft have 100000
Iraqis?
None at all
Against the Yanquis
Or quicksand.

The Thanksgiving Pill: A Bozo Boxing Song

When we laugh, laugh, laugh
And we fear to anoint
George W.'s chaff
For 4 more years
When I may not have
My Sunday joint
George W. can't bear
The law of torts.

(Chorus)

Where's the graft, graft, graft
Let's abort, abort
Laura will be stoned
She's my book's consort
So when I don't blab
At star chamber courts
George W. swears
I'm an enemy nabbed.

Bridge:

"So we kill for a thrill
And the last passed bill
Doesn't pay to shill
For this Georgian grill"

Who's the last, last, last
Baathist of Dad's past?
George W.'s mast
Tied to tax cuts fast
Will we weigh the dead
Caught it in our head
That George W. lead
Leaves us shootin' stares.

(Chorus)

Why's the blastocyst
Worth far more than Christ?
George W.'s whist
Monkied in the mist
There's a baby borne
With his maybe corn
George W. is shorn
By the lambs now dead.

(Chorus)

Chorus:

With a snaff, snaff, snaff
And a snort, snort, snort
George W. can't be
My last resort
And when I see
This righteousy retort
George W. can't be
My last resort.

OSCE Deems Ill I Me: A Bozo Pact Song

Orest, the Ukraine
Is a day old chick
And freedom's slick
In Vlad's payment scheme.

He wants to be mogul
A Rupert
A Gogol
In these days of Yukos
He's mostly mucous.

And we're in the troika
Of Chichikov
When we've had enough
We monitor polls
We sell the Rolls
We are dead souls.

Or we're rushin' stoats
Buys a Chonkin moat
In our overcoats
We are schemers
Dagestan dreamers.

So in the day
Of USA
Is it best to lease
Contests in the east
Or just be yeast?

The Knack Of Iraq: A Bozo Thanksgiving Song

The latest news is what they choose
Turkeys like happy views
When surrounded by bottles
Their necks miss the throttle

Five sides in our crest
Kurds, Sunnis, Shiites
Bush and the rest
It's a test of might

Here's the message, Pilgrim:

"We are intent on trying"
"We are intent on lying"
"We are intent on spying"
"We don't care who's dying"

"We see insurgents frying"
"We hear the world sighing"
"We leer at towels drying"
"We use the fear denying"

"We don't like eyes prying"
"We hide the families crying"
"We pray for words implying"
"We don't spare who's buying"

"We see sins multiplying"
"We bring bombs flying"
"We sing of Sunnis complying"
"We swing with Jesus testifying"

There you have it, LieutGen Smith
The dressage hymn of Don
And quietly flows the pith
Of all the young ones gone.

O Bush Canadian: A Bozo Pastiche Song

(with apologies to Calixa Lavaliee and Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier)

O Canada!
Bush close at hand
True patriot love
All your voters condemn.

With crowing hearts, you see Bush fall
The True South's dickhead pee

Both far and wide,
O Canada, he's most unworthy, so flee!

God keeps Iraq glories from B
O Canada, he's one mad cow, you'll see!

O Canada, your visa's now on tap for me?

The Panel of Experts: A Bozo 9/11 UN Commissioned Song

We are the panel of experts
Insuring no hurts
We always recommend
Nothing in the end.

We are the panel of experts
In white shirts
We come to depend
On per diems from friends.

We are the panel of experts
In fights curt
We have to bend
In momentary rend.

Bridge:

There's an idea here
But that died last year
So now we're in flannel
Post election year.

We are the panel of experts
In spicy covert
We want to send
A raspberry pretend.

We are the panel of experts
And caught in skirts
Is what we contend
Suits us to defend.

We are the panel of experts.
Great and good perverts
When we're asked to mend
We back the legend.

The Elephantine Man: A Bozo Appointment Song

When the planes came down
Into our big town
They killed off some heroes
Rudy held Ground Zero.
(Chorus)

When the boys were touched
By the priestly clutch
Then that old time shame
Begat stonewall games.
(Chorus)

When we sifted ashes
In the crime scene yard
We said not a word
About how we failed.
(Chorus)

When we shift our asses
In the catacomb
Docs abortin' wombs
Deserve all our jail.
(Chorus)

Bridge:

And we never learn
We just take a turn
On whom we choose
On the evening news.

When the leader cries
Who's for alibis?
We buy get aways
Vote the funds to pay.
(Chorus)

I'm a bodyguard.
I can retrain corps
My retainer shards
So this army morphs.
(Chorus)

I'm in therapy
I am bound to stick
To the Pharisee
Of my bishopric.
(Chorus)

We've all got our pile
With a bit of strain
And the winning smile
Of a witless brain.
(Chorus)

Chorus:

Our slice of failure
Is promoted Kerik
Our price of failure
Is the settlin' cleric.

Droppin' in Pop: A Bozo Cremation Song

Today received the ashes
We didn't wield lashes
Funeral man said
Have 'em soon we would.

Let's take a peak:
As the certificate read
"Respiratory arrest
Caused by myocardial infarction
Coronary artery disease"

And the cash is mine
And my sister's
And my mother's
And no v sign
From my father.

He's dead
And we the vox
Have got a box
Of his remains
Black fantastic
Leatherette plastic
And we're insane.

As he was at the end
Carressed by plaques
Knackered traction
Forgotten, ceased...

The Couplin' of Fratricide: A Bozo Hunting Song

Babe and I have the sense
To stake this appearance
On more than Pat Tillman
Or Osama's jinx.

That's what Pervez thinks
Will cash his check
Babe says, "What the heck!
Was he here with Stan?"

"Nope", I said, "with Ollie"
Tradin' for arms
Cuddlin' nuke charms
"Our American folly".

Babe wants to zero in
On what they call heroes
Without no cahoots
The ones we don't shoot.

"Well, Babe, here's the scoop
We support the troops
When they torture with glee
I speak before Rotary."

Still Babe wants to be merry
For the holidays
For Guantanamo Bay
For a right wing OK.

"Babe, it's like Asteroids
The rocks they get smaller
The ships dish no color
The death we avoid".

10x10 Don't Often Soften: A Bozo Refugee Song

Preamble (in a phrase):

"Let's assure our girls and boys
Have first choice
Of the best satellites
Then we'll shoot 'em right
Seein' license plates
From way up high
But Osama's fate
Or that anthrax guy?
Nope, nor will we fight
The capital flight"

When it's the Ukraine
We hardly strain
When it's Iraq
Putin's holiday sock
When it's Darfur
We'd rather not endure
A campaign of threats
And lots of death
Always we've got
A world hot spot.

Is it racism?
Black against Arab
Or is it disgrace?
Put in a place
When it's Darfur
The West is so sure
And glaces the bets
Decomposin' epithets
'bout whom we'll nab
With awe and shock.

Or religious strife?
Muslim against Christian
Bent on the next life
Put in muslin
When it's Darfur
Moral values pure
We could ensure
A sad crusade
Out of such bastians
But lost the knack.

"They raped me
They raped my kids
They killed their dad
Put 'em in a grave "
When it's Darfur
This world won't save
A bestial purr's
All that comes
To sadden lids
With zero sums.

The Stop Loss Leader: A Bozo Return Song

In this land of perspex
We aren't too complex
George is our Rex
Imperator Mix Chex.

He's got the lines
Or else he'll harm me
When his teeth don't grind
He socks it to the army.

Oh, you're right to ask
Ah, our might's one task
B's 12 step flask
Ignores the casks.

Won, are you the Don?
Son, were you lackin' guns?
Hon, ovens your buns?
Con, goes on and on.

No tax increases
Yes tax cuts
Prosperous smut
Never ceases.

That's what we call
Values
Holiday balls
Vices
Gospels of lice
Happy death to you.

10 December Dismembers: A Bozo Universal Song

On human rights day
This declaration:
The humans are falling
Behind the rights
Of yesterday.

It's a calling
From Ken-L-Ration
The dogs get stronger
The pain lasts longer
Crucified, they say.

In Darfur, we can't bother
In Uganda, the Lord decimates
In Iraq, there's no oil
And so we toil
To kill another.

When Wangari states
The planet's in trouble
There's not a bubble
Of pricey targets
Drivin' the market.

I think Eleanor
Has been ignored
By the need to score
A basket, a casket
Our greed frets
We've nothing yet.

One Day In Our Life: A Bozo Recruitment Song

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

A small squad of troops
Caught in Iraq's latrine
They seemed so fresh
Once made of flesh.

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

The boys of security
A noise of impurity
Socials and scoops
And third degrees.

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

Comes a sneak attack
While they eat Big Macs
In the Px
There's no distress
In cancelled checks
A tasty mess.

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

Backing the chief
Of command relief
In brass, in bras
Seekin' a sheath.

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

Bring out families
Festooned, homilies
Of stop loss comedy
Tossed class belief.

7 dead in December
Will anyone remember?

The pearls of one swine
In curls Ovaltine
Are late Marines
Lacking remedy.

Takin' The Biscuit: A Bozo Tarte Tatin Song

Say again, Babe?
"You're awarded
The Medal
Of Freedom!"

Say again, Babe?
"There's Tommy Franks
And George Tenet
And Paul Bremer"

Say again, Babe?
"And you!
A nation's pranks
Unsurly, meant it
One losing gamer!"

Say again, Babe?
"Mullah Omar scootered
As your watch neutered
Osama got away
But petals today!"

Say again, Babe?
"MacArthur of Iraq
Gave yourself the sack
Planned this fall delay
Sovereignty one day!"

Say again, Babe?
"A slam dunk!
When the WMD
Were nowhere seen
You felt the sheen!"

Say again, Babe?
"5,000 dead
And only some junk's
Found to armor
You hunk of lead!"

Say again, Babe?
"When you need 'em
They fail, indeed
Your highest honor's
Bein' a donor"

Say again, Babe?
"Of life's blood
By cuts of tax
A scary karma
Reverse Robin Hood!"

Say again, Babe?
"Not a Bremer Wafer
Or Tenet's unsafer
Or Franks' lost tanks
Bush gives you thanks!"

Doin' The Continental Olympique: A Bozo Milk And Honey Song

The Greeks had a word for it
Some things are hard to ignore
You take a bus, make demands
From Bruxelles mussel sands.

A million euros
Well sure, you've got to hedge
Against sledges of dollars
To decrease the Snow wits.

When safe passage is key
In conferences of e
Con those mists of fire
Buy debts inspired!

But to Moscow?
Where's that at now?
In schismy G-8
'Neath the fascist gate!

Not perfidious Albion
Nope, poor Albanians
With a mania for cash
To hold up white trash.

We all like the style
Of being Europhile
'Cept when the tiles
 Are made in Turkey.

And the word is "fiddle"
Immigrants in the middle
Class us as a riddle
Pays today of aging piddles.

One Stack Analyzer: A Bozo Study Song

With Celebrex and confidence
Rum takes his chances
On army romances
Until they're all shot.

How to flex this nonsense
Of clutching chests
By kited checks?
Next gens pay the lot.

But elections are past tense
The right's out of luck
In fights all are shmucks
Fetuses, bon mots.

In erections of a fence
Build insecure Iraq
With warlords trade smack
For Osama's trail, or not.

See, rejections aren't intense
In three words, they don't care
Should you want a share
Tax cuts are begot.

Deflections in conference
Of a crisis state spent
But commissions prevent?
With 'em we're hot.

Inflections of conscience
What grim reapers pay
To commanders today
For kerchiefs of snot.

Signin' Song of Myself: An Auto-Pelf Bozo Condolence Song

Dear (insert next of kin),

I'm only gettin' older
Your loss merely great
Bold or it's too late
Singed, but I'm not sorry.

Not for this harm or
The lack of armor
My army goes to war
Regardless of what for.

Your offspring died
For dissemblin' spies
Never trembled, why?
A song of sophistry.

The roadside bomb?
One stray sniper?
Nota bene tomb?
Nest of vipers?

I wrestled once, didn't fight
Inert vessels of might, tons
Of excuses and exploits,
These sins of context.

So how does it matter?
Is matter wherewithal?
One death standing tall
Is one death, and that's all.


Sincerely,

Donald Rumsfeld
Secretary Of Defense

(Signed in his absence)

The Xmas Message Is Dressage: A Bozo Holiday Song

At the intersection
Of Vioxx and Celebrex
Is a forlorn Texan
Trying misdirection.

He warns of crisis
In the storing of value
An Iraqi in a trice is
A training point of view.

Responsibility?
The tax cut swoon
Of Tuna Utility
Calls his tune.

And it'll be cut in half
In five, well that's a laugh
The arrivistes of naff
On the White House staff.

When 1,300 are dead
You can't be yellow
The auto-da-fe head's
A very caring fellow.

"O sure, Osama's free
But that's not me
I'm pure, can't you see
Not some Pharisee!"

But that's the grail
Of his holy wail
In his own jail
We beat their tails.

Who wants the truth?
No one, forsooth!
Youth are killed
They're lesser skilled.

For volunteers
No one sheds a tear
For leaders
Are never bleeders.

This is my country
This is my world
This might explain why
God's dead in this sty.

Franks' Dead Beans: A Bozo Mess Song

In a canteen
An inside job
Don Fossil-Yob
Is seldom seen.

Chorus

And he feels bad
He's a caring fellow
Whose cheapness trad
Became a bellows.

Chorus

And there's a Prez
Who says a prayer
His war second guessed
By a soothsayer.

Chorus

Bridge:

Brown and Root
They just had to scoot
The unbuilt mess they left
Too well known bereft.

And there's the Senate
A nifty karma
Of tax cuts, innit?
Forgot to armor.

Chorus

And there's the House
Of born again lice
God's their louse
A cut-purse price.

Chorus

And there's the public
Who know the jobs
Went out to Subic
And wait for lobs.

Chorus

And there's each one
Of us full of crap
Our shoes undone
By a Humvee snap.

Chorus:

Security is a knack
But not so in Iraq
In sorrow's patter
Wee cowards scatter.

The Unstable View: A Bozo Xmas Song

The message to you
Today's ablution is: "Wake up!"
Don't be the spar
In religion's wars.

Please accept they're part
Of the problem, you see
Not solutions, they make up
With dishonest hearts.

The battle isn't for freedom
It's for conformity
An ecumenical greedom
For half witted infirmity.

Don't leaders know it's xmas?
No, and not one cares
About the death
In Darfur.

Or the Congo
Or Chechnya
Or Aceh
Or Kashmir.

How long o?
How much nya nya?
How can we slay?
How many fear?

We're supposed to pray
To await the future
A sort of suture meant
Only for the bent.

Jesus and Yahweh
Fence the Prophet's highway
Whence is their glory?
Shillin' same old story.

Mass belief in the mass
Is the flyway to murder
The relief comes to pass
If we all say, "No further!"

Then sense'll be heard or
Xmas will continue.

Wednesday On Vac, Got The Iraq Knack?: A Bozo Leadership Song

"Here in Texas
Sam's on vacation
From my feckless
Selfish nation."

"Jeez! Got the pox
From Norwegian lox
Prayed for the dingy
Uncle Sam's not stingy!"

On a GDP map
Sam's number 30
Out of 30 per cap
Foreign aid's so dirty!

Let's see, what's a tsunami?
And what is the West?
And who is the Sammy
Our world loves the best?

In a place Darfur
Sam is still no cure
There tsunami comes
In monthly sums.

Or the no go zone
Of Aceh we'll phone
In a civil war
Sam's been there before.

On with robust smears
Soft as in Kashmir
Sam's in coalition
Unashamed contrition.

From here to avowal
Soon Sam's exiled Powell:
"It's only just begun
Insurgent waves we'll stun!".

Don't recall the Humvees
Sam's are at 450
Increasin' monthly
One day armored be!

The bodies awash
In balderdash
And they die for nothin'
But Sam's lies or somethin'.

So be ill-informed
That's the DC norm
Sam's a dying form
Of a Norman storm.

So be ill, don't judge
How to evil fudge
With Sammy Sludge
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Banner Anthem Idem: A Bozo Assistance Song

O say can you see
Them tsunami Rebs?
Why we'll send happily
Younger brothers called Jeb.

O, no, aid's not stingy
A forewarning next lab'
Who's a bent over babe?
43's daughters are debs.

O whey, no, Kurds don't be
Sure of independency
While those mad Sunnis flee
Or join insurgency.

Obey G, fellow T
Yankee yellow's for thee
Lay fear on with a trowel
Tender Mr. C. Powell.

O may that churning sea
Pull back the mystery
Of the lands now quite free
Of the homes quite unsaved.

Okay, crow unspangled
Stars are mostly off key
When some tits are dangled
Cease, pray, nip 'em nightly!

O, thus be it ever
That free man are never
Quite as free as they seem
When Delay's got the cream.

O, and where is the band
That violently swore
That a tax cut in hand
Is now forever more?

On the shore dimly seen
Are these misers of mean
For the $35 mil's
Half inaugural bill.

As these fitfully blow
All their wads on cash flow
What's the catch that's a scheme
Of O. Hatch, why not scream?

Whew! No refuge could wave
Such hirelings and slaves
From their terrorist fright
Or the gloom of their graves.

The 2004 Score: A Bozo Eve Song

What's another year?
A veil of tears
On sale with fear
That's what we get.

Or maybe we met
The right's sort of gear
Change the law
Duck the blame.

Or waving our set
Shot down by Swift vets
Shameless sharp claw
That's what's left.

It began with crass poets:
"They'll see liberators
We'll be gay baiters
Sooner or later".

It's drunk down with Moet
The skunks of Texas know it
And they sow it, like death
Every pious breath.

It ends in disaster
And there are no spies
For deep blue masters
Or when my Dad dies.

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gorilla.meek@gorillameek.com)


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